“Right now, I'm having a really hard time figuring out what to do with my future. I'm in the final semester of my BA, and I'm seriously thinking about changing my career path. Honestly, I only chose BA because my parents wanted me to have a degree. I tried so hard to be happy here. I tried my best to do everything right, to be a good daughter and to make everyone proud, but somewhere along the way, I lost myself.
I couldn't make any friends in college because, honestly, I've hated being here ever since the day I first walked through those gates. I don't even know how to explain what this place has made me feel. I don't have enough words for it. During my school days, I used to sing, organise events, plan parties, and enjoy every little thing. I was someone who loved doing things. But ever since I came to this college, I've felt like I've become a completely different person. I stopped wanting to participate in anything. Even when I have the opportunity to do something, there's always this feeling inside me telling me that I don't belong here, that this isn't where I'm supposed to be. So I just withdraw from everything.
Now, I'm thinking about starting over and pursuing something I've genuinely wanted for a long time. I've always wanted to become a chef, and I'm considering studying Culinary Arts abroad. My parents have always told me that they're supportive of whatever I choose to do. They've even encouraged me to follow my dreams and said they have no problem with me going abroad for my studies.
But the reality is much more complicated than just deciding to go. I've applied for my passport, I'm looking into scholarships, and there's basically one scholarship opportunity that could actually make this dream possible. Even if I get it, I'll still have to manage my accommodation and living expenses, and I might still have to depend on my dad financially. That makes me feel worried and guilty because I don't want to become a burden on my family.
And then there's the other side of it. I'm an introvert, and I've never really done anything completely on my own. The thought of moving to a completely new country, meeting strangers, making friends, adjusting to a different culture, and figuring out life all by myself is honestly terrifying. What if people don't accept me? What if I can't make friends? What if I struggle to adjust? What if I go all the way there and things don't work out?
There are so many thoughts running through my mind, and sometimes it feels like they're all happening at once. I'm scared of staying where I am, but I'm equally scared of leaving everything familiar behind. I don't know what the right decision is anymore.
I just know that I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like I don't belong somewhere. I want to do something that makes me feel alive again. I want to find myself, experience new things, meet people, travel, learn different cuisines, and build a life that actually feels like mine.
I know starting over won't be easy, but I wish I could stop being so afraid of everything. Right now, I just feel lost, overwhelmed, and uncertain about what comes next. I don't even know where to begin.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
You should follow you dreams no matter what and don't worry about not making friends you will make friends in time. Always try to do something as if you don't try you might spend your life thinking of what could have been if you tried.