I’m honestly going through a lot right now and I don’t know how to get myself out of it. I was in a toxic relationship for almost a year, and even though I know he is not good for me and he has clearly told me that he won’t change, I still can’t get over him. A part of me keeps hoping that he will start behaving properly and everything will become okay.

I’ve even started talking to random guys to distract myself, but I don’t like doing that either. It doesn’t feel like me, and I don’t want to keep doing it just to get over someone.

The biggest problem is that this is affecting my whole life. I’m unable to focus properly on my studies, career, family, or friends because my mood is always affected by this. I know I need to move on, but I genuinely don’t know how. I just want to get myself back and stop letting this relationship affect every part of my life. I really need some advice on how to deal with this.

Question

I’m honestly going through a lot right now and I don’t know how to get myself out of it. I was in a toxic relationship for almost a year, and even though I know he is not good for me and he has clearly told me that he won’t change, I still can’t get over him. A part of me keeps hoping that he will start behaving properly and everything will become okay.

I’ve even started talking to random guys to distract myself, but I don’t like doing that either. It doesn’t feel like me, and I don’t want to keep doing it just to get over someone.

The biggest problem is that this is affecting my whole life. I’m unable to focus properly on my studies, career, family, or friends because my mood is always affected by this. I know I need to move on, but I genuinely don’t know how. I just want to get myself back and stop letting this relationship affect every part of my life. I really need some advice on how to deal with this.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Pick one hobby of yours or something which u enjoy alot or u get equal pleasure from doing it as of talking to your ex. Like that u will be busy and you'll feel like u atleast have control over something. I personally like to clean my house it makes me feel good and after seeing my house clean I feel safe and happy. 
Listen u can only love someone to the depth u love yourself so start focusing on your health. Mentally, physically and emotionally. 
Remember being single is actually a blessing it gives u immense freedom and time to sit with yourself and do the inner healing and work so call yourself lucky. Start journaling u will get to know yourself better this way. Whenever u think about him don't stop yourself let the though some and go by itself it's normal. U can talk to guys if u want but make it clear to them that u guys r just frnds not more than that because u don't enjoy talking to guys that way so I don't want u to have another regret because I also just came out of a toxic relationship an sometimes I also feel like u talking to guys but I know it's really draining and I don't enjoy it. If u feel like talking talk to a guy frnds not random guys and when the urge comes wait for 90sec the urge will go itself. Dress well do some makeup if u like. Travel if u can. Most imp socialize but also learn to say alone spend time with yourself it's very imp like this u will know yourself better and what kind of person u want in your life as a bf or frnds etc. 
Don't change yourself just because someone behaved bad with u. U be the lovely girl u r. U will find your people but only when u start to heal or else u will attract the same garbage.