**if u r a guy... please, please do answer this**

There’s this guy I’ve liked for a really long time. A few years back, we started talking irl and got really close. We’re both teens, so I never asked him to date or be in a relationship, but we both knew we liked each other.

Back in school, I asked him not to tell anyone about us. I had my reasons, explained them to him, and he understood and supported me. Even after our schools changed, we stayed in contact.

Then randomly one day, he told me he doesn’t feel the same anymore and started saying he has problems with my looks and that I should “take care of my skin” by removing facial/body hair or wearing makeup. He’d never said anything like this in all these years.

Then he says things like, “maybe I’ll find someone else,” but also “I don’t have a problem with your looks” and “maybe it’ll be someone else or maybe you who I spend my future with.” Like... that was so confusing

I told him how much his comments hurt me. It’s not that I hate how I look...I genuinely like how I look. It just hurt coming from **him**, because I thought he liked me for who I am. I never expected him to treat me like a princess; I just wanted him to see me as me, not based on makeup, waxing, skin, etc.

So I just want to ask:

**1. Am I expecting too much from a guy?**
**2. Do guys really randomly change like this and forget everything a girl has done for them over the years?**

Question

**if u r a guy... please, please do answer this**

There’s this guy I’ve liked for a really long time. A few years back, we started talking irl and got really close. We’re both teens, so I never asked him to date or be in a relationship, but we both knew we liked each other.

Back in school, I asked him not to tell anyone about us. I had my reasons, explained them to him, and he understood and supported me. Even after our schools changed, we stayed in contact.

Then randomly one day, he told me he doesn’t feel the same anymore and started saying he has problems with my looks and that I should “take care of my skin” by removing facial/body hair or wearing makeup. He’d never said anything like this in all these years.

Then he says things like, “maybe I’ll find someone else,” but also “I don’t have a problem with your looks” and “maybe it’ll be someone else or maybe you who I spend my future with.” Like... that was so confusing

I told him how much his comments hurt me. It’s not that I hate how I look...I genuinely like how I look. It just hurt coming from **him**, because I thought he liked me for who I am. I never expected him to treat me like a princess; I just wanted him to see me as me, not based on makeup, waxing, skin, etc.

So I just want to ask:

**1. Am I expecting too much from a guy?**  
**2. Do guys really randomly change like this and forget everything a girl has done for them over the years?**

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

I'm a guy so I'll answer this. One by one, for your convenience. Even though I am single, I understand this perspective. But first of all, clarify if he's doing any of these jokingly or just to tease. If he's doing it to tease you, then openly tell him not to do it this way as this is hurting you. Assuming he's not teasing you like this and speaking seriously, I am answering:
1. No, absolutely not. You are not expecting too much. That's a basic trust. If he's suddenly too much concerned about your looks, it may imply that he fell for your looks, and now as he saw other girls, he's comparing you to them somehow. It hurts when the person you love judges you for something you can't change. Try to retrospect and think, whether he really loves you or he loves the way you make him feel. Or just your looks. Because trust me, when men fall in love, looks don't matter anymore. To us, the woman we love is the most beautiful woman we will ever see, despite knowing how tall or slim or however they look. I'm not criticising, I'm just trying to tell what may have happened.
2. No, guys who truly love a woman, don't change suddenly like this. They don't change at all. And absolutely not this way that they will stop feeling for the woman, and deliberately comment on their looks and forget everything the woman has done for them and those moments spent with that woman. So this is one more thing which concerns me here about your relationship. Just try to think once again, that you love him as he is, but does he do the same for you? You can let him have female friends or try to have some distance slowly to check.

See, stranger friend, I'm not trying to demolish your relationship, I'm trying to solve your doubt. And if there's something not good in it, you might save yourself from a massive heartbreak and pain beforehand. I don't want anyone to suffer in love, so I'm trying my best to help you. If you are reading this, I hope you understand what I am trying to say. Love is one of the most beautiful and best feelings to ever exist, I don't like to watch it become the reason for someone's pain. May God bless you, stranger friend.

If you wanna tell or know something more about it, you can message me on social media. You don't have to provide yours, I'll provide mine if you want. No, I'm not trying to hit on you, if you are thinking so, I am just trying to help you, not only because you are facing this problem, but this is a part of a major problem I've seen with many people, which really bothers me a lot. I hope I have shared something positive and useful to you, and could be of help in this. Happy to help you out. May everything work out positively for you.