“i used to talk to this man over on discord (i know, i KNOW) and fuck, we used to have such good conversations and now...well, he has been ghosting me, we probably will never talk again, and it would've been fine. its not like he owes me anything but, it happened before too, i feel like whenever i'm talking to someone (whether its online or irl) at first its fucking beautiful, we are matching each other's freaks, we are talking about our interests and i feel like they geniunely enjoy my company because i try my best to be someone they can say anything to but over time, they realize how i'm the most boring, hollow piece of shit and then...they leave. and to make the matter worse, i had a disgusting fight with my best friend over something very trivial, i'm nineteen, and i also have tried to commit suicide some days ago because i just...i feel i'm the most horrible person out there. i've hurt my best friend so much and i've hurt my family so much that my own existence disgusts me. i'm not here so someone can validate my feelings or tell me i'm good. i'm not. i'm very much aware of that.
but my only question to people here is, is it horrible if i want to be loved even after all the horrendous stuff i did? i've been looking for love in places where only fools will do, and i'm just sick and tired of guessing how other people perceive me.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
You have accepted at least how you sometimes feel or just do things.There is no chance to know u personally ..but all I can say...if you feel u are just people pleasing stop that...don't entertain people just to keep them...be ur true self, if they are your people they will stay...truly speaking...I really feel nobody should find love in online rather in the surroundings...that will obviously save your valuable time...the online shit is really ridiculous...telling this from my experiences...let love just find u...don't take peer pressure...And most importantly practice your hobbies and build a string body. Best of luck.