Someone once asked...
Someone answered with kindness...
First of all, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time and while I know you rightly have doubts about medications, I hope they will guide you through the darker days. Now coming to navigating through this patch, I don't think I can help in suggesting a new philosophy to follow, but I would say this much that what will help you in walking through the days would be learning to become friends with yourself. The best way, imo, is to treat yourself the way you would treat your closest friend. Would you talk to them kindly when they are having an episode? Would you cheer them up and distract them with their favourite show? Would you pat their shoulder when they are having a breakdown and wipe their tears? Do the same for yourself as many times as you need it. You've only got yourself to be with for the rest of your life, so might as well become your best friend. It's not loneliness that you are battling, but the capacity to hold space for yourself to be okay with feeling lonely and that's something, which will come and go. Even if the medications were to make you a different person, you would still have your interests, hobbies, idiosyncrasies to fall back upon to remind you that you're still the same person deep down and the most loyal friend to yourself who won't leave no matter how the day looks. Good luck! I'm cheering for you :)
Wandering voices — answers no one has read yet
Another soul answered...
hi there, i hope you're doing better, i read you're message and i get that things are difficult for you and i just want you to think that your prescribed medication as an opportunity but not an identity change, your depression that you are experiencing is not the entirety of who you are. You are not trying to become a different person, you are trying to make living as yourself less painful. I want you to know this concept called AMOR FATI, it's a latin expression meaning LOVE OF ONE'S FATE, it doesn't mean that you should accept suffering, it's just that you have to develop relationship with your circumstances where you stop spending all ur energy wishing your reality was different. And yes it is totally fine to feel alone but please do not turn your ability to understand other people's circumstances into an obligation to suppress your own emotional needs. Start knowing yorself, spend some time with yourself try maintaining a small journal. Try allowing yourself to explore another possibility, that's not a defeat, you just need a little more stability, more like peace and ability to enjoy ordinary things and I hope you get to experience that, you don't need to figure it out for the rest of your life, you just have to igure out how to make tomorrow a little more manageable. I hope you feel better after reading this, so yea that's it stay healthy and happy. YOU CAN DO IT!!!! (lol i feel like a therapist, im just a 21 years old lady btw)
Another soul answered...
Hi there First of all, please excuse any mistakes in my english, as it isn't my first language. I'm not going to pretend that I know how you feel or how the situation is best resolved - I have never experienced recurrent depressive disorder nor do I want to be untruthful. Nevertheless, I am very much sympathetic. Your view, that this is a (very challenging) chapter in your life, is actually quite enlightened in my opinion. It was Charlie Chaplin, I think, who said that life is a tragedy if you zoom in, but a comedy when you zoom out. Challenges, illnesses and much more will come and go - that's life. But please, do not think that you're life is pointless because it feels like a tragedy right now. The sun will always rise again. We all choose the purpose of our lifes ourselves. It sounds to me like you're life has a purpose as well - whether it is building our future generations as a teacher, healing people as a nurse, etc. Focus on the purpose you want to give to your life and I truly believe that good things will follow if you choose a good purpose. Sometimes it feels lonely, like the whole world is fighting against one. But never forget: You are not alone. There are people all over the world who feel like a "loose screw" as you do, other people fighting the same fight. You are all fighting together. And all of you are in each others hearts - even if not knowingly. And as someone who had an older sister who suffered from depression: PLEASE talk to your loved ones. They want to be there for you, they want you to cry to them, to scream to them, they want you to demand that they will go buy your medications with you. Do not hesitate to do so. Focus on the big picture of your life - you haven't seen the most beautiful parts of your life yet.
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