““I don't know what to ask I have alot of things or questions maybe to ask but nothing comes out.. whenever I just try to say something I goes blank and nothing comes out I don't want to live i regret being alive I want to die I wish I were not born I tried to kill myself before too but was never able to do it completely bcz I am not strong and also scared .. I am scared with my fear.. Fear of will my family remember me after I die? Will they blame eachother? Will they miss me? Will they cry for me?? Will they wish I stayed longer?? Fear of imaging them enjoying festivals being happy with still a hint of sadness bcz I am not alive fear of missing the good moments they will enjoy in future and I want to enjoy with them too but I would not be able to attend bcz i won't be alive fear of something i don't know what I am here locked in my room by myself passing time waiting for death to come and take me ... With feeling I don't know whether to do and with feeling I don't even know I am feeling.. I know this sounds ridiculous but it is what I am feeling something I don't even know am i feeling or not? , stupid right? But that's what I am .. stupid ! Worst ! The one who should just die bcz i deserve it ... Bcz I hate myself .. bcz i don't like looking in mirror I smile but feel sad for being happy I look at my pic I clicked and trying to write something I like in this as my therapist told me to do but all I see is a fake smile.. which is looking so beautiful so real so true but it isn't just a fake smile with eyes deep which I see and feel watery like about to cry but tears just don't come out.. want to cry kr shout soo hard but just keeping it inside me bcz I am scared loud noises now.. so me.. if you ask me if I get a chance to go in past and change something maybe I would try my best to not being born..””
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Someone answered with kindness...
You hate yourself too much inspite of being nature's own creation. Everybody, every soul in this universe deserves respect, regardless of our achievements. Every fruit, every tree, every flower, every mountain, it's not the same. It's the problem of the society that they try to fit you into a box. You are not supposed to perform for them or be a certain way. Just calm down, the right people will love you regardless. But before that, remember that you are God's own child and you need to be there for you even if the world isn't.