“I am a girl and i like a girl who lives on the same floor as me in hostel(1st year btech student here). Initially i thought it was just a normal crush like every other time but this time its different, I think about her every single moment in a day; she appears in my dreams too like she is taking over my life and i really want this to stop because this is lowering my self esteem which i have worked so hard to uplift. The thing is that i see her everyday atleast 4 times like we cross paths and our eyes meet everytime we follow each other on instagram and i like all of her stories rewatch them and infact i never used to post anything but nowadays i have started posting instant everyday like 10 instants and hoping she would notice me though she only likes the ones which involve art(random scribbles) and that bothers me because i want her to talk to me but at the same time i want to forget about her because every time i get close to a person i lose interest or i stop reciprocating which might be my commitment issues or i am just scared of intimacy. That's one issue but the main issue right now is that SHE IS PERFECT LIKE LITERALLY PERFECT, she is an artist(like extremely creative and an actual artist not like every other person pretending to be one), looks cute, pretty, absolutely gorgeous, plays piano, knows how to skate and waveboard, plays sports (not very well but decent), the way she speaks i can sense the confidence and its soo cute her facial expressions while expressing herself and i assume her to be smart too! And i am none of these things i am literal waste of space i am not good looking, not smart or even good at expressing myself, i barely have any hobbies, i only play online games that too i stopped because i would waste days on it so now i am not good at that either, i play table tennis but thats hardly something, i cannot play any instrument, i am not good at art, i always try stuff and give up on it i dont think i can ever do anything good. Its not like my grammar is bad its fairly decent but i am so underconfident and anxious that i cant speak properly to newer people its embarrassing! And her being good at everything is giving me inferiority complex like crazy its my second time crying today since 6am(its 10am now) thinking about how perfect she is and how dumb i am to even have a thing for her like she isnt even gonna look at me. I have no idea what to do or feel anymore because i am obsessed with her like i really really like her but i dont even know if she is into girls or not and this self esteem issue i really wanna get over it. I dont even know what i expect in return from this anonymous message but i just penned it down because why not.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
first of all , thats really cute , all u r doing is overthinking , ofc rn she might not understand that u like her in a romantic way because of what u described but u could always find out , before doing that enquire more about her personality and understand her kindness levels , how open minded she is ,if possible and then plan something. if u don't try , u will regret it later.
secondly , about ur insecurities , she also might not describe herself the way u r describing her , she might have her own insecurities that when u hear them u might think 'how is that even an insecurity' , im not saying u r perfect the way u r , no one is , but we only perceive others based on the version they show to us or the version they put up in public , its not always their trueself, so don't think about u matching her in every way , people actually don't love another for a reason , love usually happens without reason. i hope u get the courage and try ur chance , all the best!
yuri time ,all the time!!!