Someone once asked...

“大道理都懂，人无论怎样光鲜亮丽，摘掉他的光环依旧也只是个普通人，你知道育人要不卑不亢，但就是做不到。你遇到事了就很紧张，感觉头顶冒汗很热，咋整，平常也不敢轻易得罪人，就是不敢说狠话，也不敢怎么怎么样，看我同事天天吊儿郎当，这种人反而在职场上混得更好，反而脾气好的 天天逆来顺受的活做不完😮‍💨，怎么改变”

Someone answered with kindness...

Maybe try a parallel social context where you can play with boundaries lightly, so your mind learns how to deal with this mixed nature. But I don't know what such context may be. The idea is not to change yourself (you look like a beautiful soul) nor the world, but your capacity to navigate it without serious friction. I wish you the best.