yesterday i was in a normal mood when i thought of playing games for awhile without my parents knowing and while i was playig my mom found out i was playing and she yelled at me like u still hv no seriousness u hv failed 2nd pu and are sitting at home whereas all ur friends are going to clg and ur just wasting ur time instead of studying chem (the subject i failed in) and just roam around the streets . and now ur playing games . i thought ud take this failure as a chalenge and do smtng abt it but just wasting ur time look at others . noone has failed in our entire family or bloodline and u hv so look at how useless u r . after i had failed 2nd pu my parents joined me to a computer class and chemistry tuition so in tht chem tuition tht lady had given test so i wrote and had not written properly so she told to study and write it again and when i did she told u've copied and then she called my mom and told me she wont be taking tuition for me anymore cause i'm not "serious enough" even though i hv failed and m mom was upset and angry. coming back to yesterday guests had come home for a few days and and had left so i hadnt studied chem properly for awhile and yesterday after the yelling at me for playing game she old em to bring my chem textbook and asks random questions and i'm not able to ans any of it cause i hadnt studied and she starts hitting me with my exam pad not tht i care but then she's like ur a liar ur a thief u hv the mindset of a criminal of how to secretly play games and all but not how to study. once i had gone to the atm and withdrew 1000 rs and i kept 300rs and i gave her the 700rs and the next day they went missing somehow and she's blaming me u steal frm ur own house and stuff . if i did want to steal why tf would i hv given her back the 700 in the first place . for tht she yelled and then she's like u dont care abt anyone but urself and now i'm seeing a thief whenever i see u get out of my eyesight . which parents woulde been quiet if their child failed and sits at home we are quiet(which they arent) cause we thought ud do smtng abt it but u just sit in a corner playing games thts why ur life is ruined u played games for 2 years (1st pu and 2nd pu) and failed still u've got no shame and continue playing . idk wt i did in my past life to hv a kid like u . then my dad the guy who has been motivating me says go and talk to his teaches in tht computer class who knows wt he's doing and how he's learning he cant be trusted . and my mom is like noone knows wt goes through tht head of urs or u just make plans on how to play games or steal money .............................. but uk wt goes through my head actually , the weight of failure , i feel like i hv failed everyone i could never be the son my parents wanted nor the brother my brother wanted or the friend my friends wanted i just feel i hv killed all theeir hopes and expectations when i cant even pass one stupid exam and most importantly i failed myself . my mom tld me u hv no regret of failing or shame but tbh i am ashamed to go out cause everyone asks wt ur doing and i' lying to everyone telling i'm preparing for clat which is in december but noone knows i've failed except my friends and my parens and brother . tbh i dont even know how to describe wts going in my head my parents told if ur friends parents get to know tht u've failed they wont even let their kids near u . uk why i took up science .............cause of my parents i had no intrest in science and neither was i good at it i wanted to take commerce but my parents told everything is same in puc and put me to science and i kind of agreed cause i dint want to upset them and i joined some dumbass clg cause ik my parents were struggling a bit for money and i dint want to burden them more . i mean how long will i blame others . uk i'm gonna turn 18 this september and tbh i'm scared . every birthday i used to be so excited for my birthday from the past month itself but this time i'm scared cause all tht is going through my head is tht if i turn 18 its gonna mean tht i'm a failure for 18 fuckin years . i hv achieved ntg made noone happy including myself , and its the day 'm gonna get fake happiness frm my parents frm my brother . and imagining it only i dont want to celebrate it . my mom tells me tht i dont know wts going through her head and my dad's head abt my failure and future but..............has she ever asked me wts going through mine so like i dont even matter . uk for awhile i've started to feel like a stranger in my own house . my coputer class is at 9.30am to 12-12.30pm but uk i leave my house at 8 in the morning and return at 2.30-3pm cause noone's waiting for me nor is anyone exited to see me or happy so i go late so the be happy for awhile without stressing themselves . i keep everyone at arms length uk even my closest friends dont know everthing abt me or wtf is going through my head cause i dont wanna seem weak and like a coward to them but i did talk to a girl in clg abt all this but i dint want to feel like a burden to her so i gradually stopped . so noone kind of texts me anymore and i just hangout when called and my parents hv a problem with tht too cause if i hangout with my friends i'm always on the streets roaming and if i stay at home i'm always at home doing ntg . i just wanted to be a good kid with decent grades and keeping everyone around me happy but seems like fate had other plans . even though i had failed i thought my parents had hope in me so i thought of achieving something before i join next year but seems like i was wrong .

Question

yesterday i was in a normal mood when i thought of playing games for awhile without my parents knowing and while i was playig my mom found out i was playing and she yelled at me like u still hv no seriousness u hv failed 2nd pu and are sitting at home whereas all ur friends are going to clg and ur just wasting ur time instead of studying chem (the subject i failed in) and just roam around the streets . and now ur playing games . i thought ud take this failure as a chalenge and do smtng abt it but just wasting ur time look at others . noone has failed in our entire family or bloodline and u hv so look at how useless u r . after i had failed 2nd pu my parents joined me to a computer class and chemistry tuition so in tht chem tuition tht lady had given test so i wrote and had not written properly so she told to study and write it again and when i did she told u've copied and then she called my mom and told me she wont be taking tuition for me anymore cause i'm not "serious enough" even though i hv failed and m mom was upset and angry. coming back to yesterday guests had come home for a few days and and had left so i hadnt studied chem properly for awhile and yesterday after the yelling at me for playing game she old em to bring my chem textbook and asks random questions and i'm not able to ans any of it cause i hadnt studied and she starts hitting me with my exam pad not tht i care but then she's like ur a liar ur a thief u hv the mindset of a criminal of how to secretly play games and all but not how to study.  once i had gone to the atm and withdrew 1000 rs and i kept 300rs and i gave her the 700rs and the next day they went missing somehow and she's blaming me u steal frm ur own house and stuff . if i did want to steal why tf would i hv given her back the 700 in the first place . for tht she yelled and then she's like u dont care abt anyone but urself and now i'm seeing a thief whenever i see u get out of my eyesight . which parents woulde been quiet if their child failed and sits at home we are quiet(which they arent) cause we thought ud do smtng abt it but u just sit in a corner playing games thts why ur life is ruined u played games for 2 years (1st pu and 2nd pu) and failed still u've got no shame and continue playing . idk wt i did in my past life to hv a kid like u . then my dad the guy who has been motivating me says go and talk to his teaches in tht computer class who knows wt he's doing and how he's learning he cant be trusted . and my mom is like noone knows wt goes through tht head of urs or u just make plans on how to play games or steal money .............................. but uk wt goes through my head actually , the weight of failure , i feel like i hv failed everyone i could never be the son my parents wanted nor the brother my brother wanted or the friend my friends wanted i just feel i hv killed all theeir hopes and expectations when i cant even pass one stupid exam and most importantly i failed myself . my mom tld me u hv no regret of failing or shame but tbh i am ashamed to go out cause everyone asks wt ur doing and i' lying to everyone telling i'm preparing for clat which is in december but noone knows i've failed except my friends and my parens and brother . tbh i dont even know how to describe wts going in my head my parents told if ur friends parents get to know tht u've failed they wont even let their kids near u . uk why i took up science .............cause of my parents i had no intrest in science and neither was i good at it i wanted to take commerce but my parents told everything is same in puc and put me to science and i kind of agreed cause i dint want to upset them and i joined some dumbass clg cause ik my parents were struggling  a bit for money and i dint want to burden them more . i mean how long will i blame others . uk i'm gonna turn 18 this september and tbh i'm scared . every birthday i used to be so excited for my birthday from the past month itself but this time i'm scared cause all tht is going through my head is tht if i turn 18 its gonna mean tht i'm a failure for 18 fuckin years . i hv achieved ntg made noone happy including myself , and its the day 'm gonna get fake happiness frm my parents frm my brother . and imagining it only i dont want to celebrate it . my mom tells me tht i dont know wts going through her head and my dad's head abt my failure and future but..............has she ever asked me wts going through mine so like i dont even matter . uk for awhile i've started to feel like a stranger in my own house . my coputer class is at 9.30am to 12-12.30pm but uk i leave my house at 8 in the morning and return at 2.30-3pm cause noone's waiting for me nor is anyone exited to see me or happy so i go late so the be happy for awhile without stressing themselves . i keep everyone at arms length uk even my closest friends dont know everthing abt me or wtf is going through my head cause i dont wanna seem weak and like a coward to them but i did talk to a girl in clg abt all this but i dint want to feel like a burden to her so i gradually stopped . so noone kind of texts me anymore and i just hangout when called and my parents hv a problem with tht too cause if i hangout with my friends i'm always on the streets roaming and if i stay at home i'm always at home doing ntg . i just wanted to be a good kid with decent grades and keeping everyone around me happy but seems like fate had other plans . even though i had failed i thought my parents had hope in me so i thought of achieving something before i join next year but seems like i was wrong .

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Trust me buy a pack of marlboro gold and lock tf in cz i am sm1 who hated science and ws forced to study....failed thru all exams but on finals i lock in i begged others to teach me imp stuff ....failed thru exams at 12th...passed finals js knowin imp stuffs and pure byheartin....
Do it for u my niga..u wan to escape ur house 
To do dt u gota finish wht u started
Nicotine helps focusing so pick tht cig n lock in