“This is not really a question, just putting some stuff out there.
Man, I really do not feel like a priority in anyone’s life right now. I genuinely have no friends, maybe friendly online acquaintances at best. I have a boyfriend whom I love and he loves me, but he has friends and he couldn’t even make time to join me for my super important school project that we had made plans for months in advance. Even my parents don’t do things that I’ve said are explicitly important and need to be done until last minute, if at all. My siblings play games with me regularly, but only ever on their schedule and if they have loterally nothing else, I am never made time for. I am just a convenience.
Like man I get it life is busy and I’m a dramatic teenager going through hormone emotions or whatever, but man. I just wanna be a thought in someone’s mind for once. To be shown that I exist outside of their convenience and they actively choose to have me in their lives. I often wonder if anyone other than my boyfriend would grieve me longer than like a week if I died because I just am not that high of a priority.
Even the school counsellor who’s supposed to help me get into therapy for stuff like this keeps on repeatedly saying “I’ll send you a time for our next meeting!” And nothing will happen unless I mail him two times minimum to just remind him of my existence.
I wanna be thought of.”
✦
Someone answered with kindness...
I can relate I'm hardly an afterthought unless someone is need it hurts a bit
I want to matter when you're not going through something or feeling lonely. I want to be a priority not just a back up for when you're at your lowest lows