There’s this guy who’s apparently liked me since January. Things got a little complicated recently when I found out about his feelings. We had a moment where things got a little flirtatious, and the next day he asked me to date him. I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and honestly, I wasn’t sure if I could reciprocate his feelings either. I told him I wanted to take things slow, but eventually I realised that I wanted him in my life as a friend, not necessarily as a romantic partner.

I tried to be honest with him, but things have taken a turn I genuinely wasn’t expecting. I’ve heard certain things about how he might have been speaking about me to other people, although I’m not entirely sure about everything. What’s hurting me is that I spent so much time feeling guilty about something I had no control over. I never wanted to hurt him, but I also couldn’t force myself to feel something I didn’t.

We’re currently not talking, and I’ve been wondering whether I should break no contact and reach out to him. I genuinely don’t know if that’s a good idea, especially considering how things have ended. This is the first time I’ve ever cried over someone like this, and I didn’t expect a situation like this to affect me so deeply. A part of me still wants to talk to him, and I hate that I feel this way despite everything that’s happened.

Question

There’s this guy who’s apparently liked me since January. Things got a little complicated recently when I found out about his feelings. We had a moment where things got a little flirtatious, and the next day he asked me to date him. I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and honestly, I wasn’t sure if I could reciprocate his feelings either. I told him I wanted to take things slow, but eventually I realised that I wanted him in my life as a friend, not necessarily as a romantic partner.

I tried to be honest with him, but things have taken a turn I genuinely wasn’t expecting. I’ve heard certain things about how he might have been speaking about me to other people, although I’m not entirely sure about everything. What’s hurting me is that I spent so much time feeling guilty about something I had no control over. I never wanted to hurt him, but I also couldn’t force myself to feel something I didn’t.

We’re currently not talking, and I’ve been wondering whether I should break no contact and reach out to him. I genuinely don’t know if that’s a good idea, especially considering how things have ended. This is the first time I’ve ever cried over someone like this, and I didn’t expect a situation like this to affect me so deeply. A part of me still wants to talk to him, and I hate that I feel this way despite everything that’s happened.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

You really don't need to feel guilty, I don't know what he's talking about you behind your back, don't let it bother you.
I am a guy and I too have been going through something similar, these things are a part of our life. 
To be honest nobody is at fault here, he's not at fault for having feelings and your not at fault for being clear and honest about not having them
Although he's completely wrong for taking things about your back but I ask you to forgive him for your own peace. Let time run its course and few years from now things won't bother much.
And about talking to him I suggest you don't do it right away your both running on emotions that could worsen things, let things cool off a bit and maybe then you can talk again. Until then I suggest you get busy with your life do what you like, eat good, workout , go on a vacation, hang out your friends. There is so much to life more than a complicated relationship.
All the best.