“There's something about myself that I've never really been able to talk about openly. I'm bisexual, but nobody in my life knows about it. Most of my friends are pretty homophobic, and I honestly don't feel like I have a safe space where I can be myself without worrying about being judged or treated differently. So I've just kept this part of myself hidden from everyone.
But there's something else that's been weighing on me for a really long time. I have feelings for my best friend.
She's genuinely one of the most important people in my life. We share a really special bond, and it's not even about doing something extraordinary together. It's the little things, the random conversations, spending time together after college, joking around, being comfortable in silence and just having her around. She's someone I'm incredibly attached to, and her presence makes me happy in ways I can't really explain.
But the complicated part is that she doesn't really support the LGBTQ+ community. It's not that she hates queer people or anything, but she's not exactly someone who openly supports it either. And considering that nobody knows I'm bisexual, I have no idea how she'd react if she ever found out.
I've been keeping these feelings to myself because I'm genuinely scared of ruining what we already have. I don't want to lose our friendship, I don't want things to become awkward between us, and I definitely don't want her to start looking at me differently.
But honestly, it hurts more than I let anyone see. I get jealous when I see her spending time with her male friends. It hurts when she's away from me, when she seems closer to other people or when I feel like I'm not as important to her as she is to me. Sometimes I hate how much her presence or absence can affect my entire mood. I know I don't have any right to feel possessive over her, and I know she has her own life and other friendships, but that doesn't make these feelings any easier to deal with.
The worst part is that I can't even tell her why certain things hurt me. I have to act like everything is normal, pretend that I'm just her best friend and keep all these feelings to myself. And sometimes it gets exhausting pretending that I'm completely okay with something that actually hurts me so much.
So I genuinely need an outside perspective on this.
Should I just keep hiding my sexuality and continue being her friend while pretending that I don't feel anything more than friendship? Or should I take the risk and tell her how I feel, even if there's a possibility that it could change our bond forever?
I don't even know if confessing would make things better or just make me lose someone I can't imagine losing. I'm so confused because I want to be honest about who I am and how I feel, but at the same time, I don't want to ruin the one bond that means this much to me.
What would you do if you were in my position?”
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Someone answered with kindness...
It depends on me....if I was in your place I would think of my situation first
Firstly if she left me will I be completely shattered and be so lonely that it would hurt me mentally or can I still live peacefully...i mean atleast heal from that .... Secondly I would indirectly ask her about her thought because communication is the main key ...you never know what someone could think of it's very unpredictable so I would ask her maybe joking like why would you do if someone luke me turned out to be bisexual and then if she says she would be okay ....I mean it's still not very certain because saying and believing are two different things but the chances of not breaking up would be high so like ...in my opinion you should try to suppress you feeling and you feel what you believe in
If you try very very hard and tell yourself that she is only your bestfriend and find someone else who you could express yourself then you save everything.....I know I might sound too rude or something but listen as a stranger I wish for your best ......if you don't want to keep any regrets in life just tell her but maybe you can start with by telling your sexuality and then that you like her becz and a bestie if she really see you asa bestie ......it might take her sometime but she would definitely accept you the way you are and abt your feelings it's unpredictable dude but good luck .....and chase your dreams don't hurt yourself becz of society you didn't come to please society but to experience everything and live the way you are be happy don't think abt others and remember that only you can help yourself and its only you at last.........sorry for this long message i just wrote wht i felt .....
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Wandering voices — answers no one has read yet
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Another soul answered...
hey, so I'm bisexual aswell, nobody in my life knows about it, kinda the same scenario as yours.
what you should do depends on the kind of person she is. do you think if you tell her you're bisexual, she'll snitch on you and tell other people when you're ready? or do you think she'll respect that even if she doesn't support LGBTQ.
personally, I'd advice you to tell her you're bisexual but not that you like her, depending on her reply you tell her about your feelings towards her. you should know you don't owe anyone that information. it's just to unburden yourself that you're telling her.
have a great day stranger
good things are waiting for you ♥️
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Another soul answered...
I'm just here to say that you're fucking "Gay"
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Another soul answered...
Honestly, I get why you are feeling what you are feeling. I'm so sorry you're in a position where choosing to do one thing puts what's most important to you at risk. If I was in your position I would definitely lean more towards telling her how you feel, because if you don't tell her one day you'll just be living with the regret of not knowing if it could have worked. All my best wishes to you. Just know you are loved no matter your gender.