“Theres someone I've had a crush on for a really long time now, more than 3ish years. I've had a long term relationship with someone else since that time, and we recently broke up a couple months ago. Now that I'm single, I'm constantly thinking about the other person, and even when I was dating, I would be thinking about them at times, and most of the time it would be mundane things or just wanting to talk to them, but i would feel so guilty for the times where i did think of them in a romantic way, and i still do now. We had a falling out for about a year, and they moved away, but I contacted them this summer around the time of me breaking up with my long standing partner, and I'll admit I feel like i went too far in some points of me texting them during that time, and I was latching on to whoever I could after the breakup and it just happened to be my crush, although that doesnt excuse all that i've done. One day, about a month after i reached out,they just stopped talking to me. I kept trying to talk to them, but they wouldn't say anything. At one point i thought, "if they arent going to respond, Im going to relapse", but it kind of opened my eyes when I thought of that, because they dont have to talk to me if they dont want to, and I felt like an idiot after because it was embarrassing to admit to myself that what i thought wasnt healthy. I thought that if they didn't want to speak anymore, then they wouldve unfriended or blocked me because they have done so in the past, but them not doing it just left me so confused. A couple weeks later i ended up unfriending them on everything because I just couldn't handle it anymore, and i haven't been in contact since.
I feel like theres nobody else that compares to them, and ive never had a crush on anyone else since. I almost feel like if I cant get an answer on what they think of me, i would accept that i would never have a romantic aspect in my life or at least not for a while. I know if they rejected me I would move on, but its the uncertainty that keeps my feelings going, and those small bits where it felt like they do like me back. How can I move on? Should I even reach out again? Theres times where i just want to text them one last time and admit to them how i feel so they can reject me and i can just get this whole phase of my life over with, but i dont want them to stay out of my life. It feels gross because it feels like they want nothing to do with me.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
I understand it's completely understandable to feel stuck in that kind of limbo especially when you didn't get a clear closure instead of reaching out for answer try to remember that their silence is already an answer pour that energy into yourself instead, because you deserve peace more than anyone you need their explanation