Sometimes i wonder if I'm genuinely needed. Like the type of need that I have for certain people. I never felt someone wouldn't be able to live happily if I was gone. I hold a little value, i always knew that. I have been the left out friend, the weird invisible classmate and the distant rude daughter so i don't blame people. But some days I really want to feel like I have a place.

Question

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

I'm answering this because you reminded me of my younger self. Well, I was the left out friend, the backup plan friend, the rude daughter who always talks back and ask questions, I was the girl who got cheated on in her very first relationship, I was the girl who was always supportive and always there for, for her friends, will listen to there rants till 5 in the morning but somehow I was always the alone one. Never had a best friend, never the close friends. It felt like I was not even in priority list of people let leave the delusion of being top on priority.  And I was the most sensitive person. 
In the past I always felt like maybe I'm asking for too much, maybe I need so much, maybe I'm not what people want. But again somehow the rude daughter also know deep in her heart it's the people who are not worth my attention,it's the cheater ex who isn't worth my love, and it's the friends who was never there for me.
And then I cried so much because no matter how brave you are, you will always need someone who can just listen maybe. I stopped giving people my attention, I stopped going out with my so called friends, I stopped answering their call because of course they only call me when they need to ask something or rant about their life.
I started doing the things I love, I started reading books not just cute rom com but the books about boundaries, behavior, patterns so I can heal my inner child. Because it's not out fault that we got some traumas but it's our responsibility to heal our inner child and live a good happy life. 
Fast forward to few years,  I cut off people like tag. Because I worked so hard on myself, and I'm not going to loose my peace over someone or something because it's not worth it. 
Maybe you should start reading, writing, dressing up for yourself and do things what makes you feel alive. 
Hope it helps.