So there's this guy... it was first year of my college and he's the cool kid that speaks a lot and i hated him because he's kinda arrogant. So on day 1 i had made up my mind that I'm never gonna talk to him ,NEVER! As i assumed he could ruin anyone's life that he didn't like . I sometimes used to be around him and he used to kinda notice me and i used to be scared because i had said a few things about him as a joke to one of my classmates . I thought maybe he heard that ,thats why he noticed be and now I'm done . There was a class going on and the teacher made me sit beside him so i had to , and then he said "u seem a lot like a introvert" then we talked a little . He used to walk down the stairs with me whenever he got the chance , and once he said bye to his friends and we sat alone, talked for 2 hours ,skiped classes. But i thought that he's just trying to be friends with me , because why would a guy be intersted in me ,and him? The most extroverted personality in this universe. But then we talked about movies in class and he was like lets go watch this movie and i said yes because I'm someone who's desperate to make friends as i dont have any , then on the movie date he laid down the possibility that " if we ever date i will never let u pay" because i paid my part of the bill. Then we were on trial for a week and when i finally started liking him a little he said he likes someone else and as a sane being i backed off but the very same day he approached me agian very normally as if nothing happened but i left without responding , and weirdly the next day he was looking at me all lovey dovey and blushing and this happend for 2 weeks , but we didnt talk and when we did he acted all normal and so did i . But even then he mentioned the movie date , now he's kinda approaching me initiating a convo but i dont know what he's trying to do , and i dont like this , i have feelings now but i dont want a loser to play with my emotions . Not again , but he's around and approaching me ? I hate it honestly. I dont want to feel this way

Question

So there's this guy... it was first year of my college and he's the cool kid that speaks a lot and i hated him because he's kinda arrogant.  So on day 1 i had made up my mind that I'm never gonna talk to him ,NEVER! As i assumed he could ruin anyone's life that he didn't like . I sometimes used to be around him and he used to kinda notice me and i used to be scared because i had said  a few things about him as a joke to one of my classmates . I thought maybe he heard that ,thats why he noticed be and now I'm done . There was a class going on and the teacher made me sit beside him so i had to , and then he said "u seem a lot like a introvert" then we talked a little . He used to walk down the stairs with me whenever he got the chance , and once he said bye to his friends and we sat alone, talked for 2 hours ,skiped classes. But i thought that he's just trying to be friends with me , because why would a guy be intersted in me ,and him? The most extroverted personality in this universe. But then we talked about movies in class and he was like lets go watch this movie and  i said yes because I'm someone who's desperate to make friends as i dont have any , then on the movie date he laid down the possibility that " if we ever date i will never let u pay" because  i paid my part of the bill. Then we were on trial for a week and when i finally started liking him a little he said he likes someone else and as a sane being i backed off but the very same day he approached me agian very normally as if nothing happened but i left without responding , and weirdly the next day he was looking at me all lovey dovey and blushing and this happend for 2 weeks , but we didnt talk and when we did he acted all normal and so did i . But even then he mentioned the movie date , now he's kinda approaching me initiating a convo but i dont know what he's trying to do , and i dont like this , i have feelings now but i dont want a loser to play with my emotions  . Not again , but he's around and approaching me ? I hate it honestly.  I dont want to feel this way

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

I don't think you've really caught feelings. He doesn't seem like a guy who is too earnest as he didn't even took your feelings and emotions into consideration when mentioning he likes someone else and then acting like he never said it the vey same day. Maybe you have mixed up your feelings because you've forced yourself to NOT thinking about him sm that in reality you ended up thinking about him. All they was before you ever talked to him and you were fighting off the kind of person you thought he was but when you both started talking his earlier image in your head started clashing with what was in front of you, the came a comparison between the WORSE him and the current him. And just because he has been nicer than you judged him doesn't mean he's necessary a nice person. Trust your guts, distract yourself with other friends ans tasks instead of just trying not to think about him. You've got your whole education and career and life ahead, this is the most minor matter ever don't waste your emotional strength on it. Ans honestly, make boundaries. It's never too late, you gave him a chance, you didn't like how he treated you, you create distant between the two of you. Clear and direct. No need to feel guilty, prioritise yourself over others.