So starting with stating I’m 30 now and my first relationship was at 17 and it went for 5years and later my family found out and all the mess and my father passed away and someone gave me comfort and we were together for 6 months and later I realised I was going the wrong way so ended it but he was obbbsesssssed and stalked and assaulted me for a year later so went into this super duper depression and after a few years met this guy who onnnnly wanted a physical relationship and after a year when I asked to end it said he loves me buttttt would never marry ughhhhh men are reaaaaaally confusing annnnnd after somehow getting over with all of it and putting him at a safe distance, comes an arranged marriage guyyyy and oh god he was the last hit… I panicked and did not tell him about my physical relationships before and only shared about the relationship I had while I was 17. But the guy was too particular about things and would get really mad when he finds any old pictures of mine on Instagram where some junior of mine has his hand over my shoulder so I got really scared and lied about my physical relationships but I don’t know if he had an intuition or what but he kept asking about things a loooot and the questions would be brutal where he would ask where I did it first and who did it better and I feel terrible that i had to keep lying and he said he loved me first and later in 5 months ended the whole thing and said we aren’t good for each other but someone who has abandonment issues and all he claimed to marry me so I got reaaaaaly really used to the idea of him being my end goal and after all of this , now there’s so many other guys my parents are trying to match me with and even when someone shows me they are interested I’m not able to trust them or even get the idea of this pilot of my head and see the other man. I keep comparing every single response of the new men to the pilot and think he was better all of this while I’m running out of time!!!! So the question is should I just get married to the new ones even if I don’t have annnnny butterflies or interest in them orrrrr wait some more to find my ideal guy that I always prayed for

Question

So starting with stating I’m 30 now and my first relationship was at 17 and it went for 5years and later my family found out and all the mess and my father passed away and someone gave me comfort and we were together for 6 months and later I realised I was going the wrong way so ended it but he was obbbsesssssed and stalked and assaulted me for a year later so went into this super duper depression and after a few years met this guy who onnnnly wanted a physical relationship and after a year when I asked to end it said he loves me buttttt would never marry ughhhhh men are reaaaaaally confusing annnnnd after somehow getting over with all of it and putting him at a safe distance, comes an arranged marriage guyyyy and oh god he was the last hit… I panicked and did not tell him about my physical relationships before and only shared about the relationship I had while I was 17.  But the guy was too particular about things and would get really mad when he finds any old pictures of mine on Instagram where some junior of mine has his hand over my shoulder so I got really scared and lied about my physical relationships but I don’t know if he had an intuition or what but he kept asking about things a loooot and the questions would be brutal where he would ask where I did it first and who did it better and I feel terrible that i had to keep lying and he said he loved me first and later in 5 months ended the whole thing and said we aren’t good for each other but someone who has abandonment issues and all he claimed to marry me so I got reaaaaaly really used to the idea of him being my end goal and after all of this , now there’s so many other guys my parents are trying to match me with and even when someone shows me they are interested I’m not able to trust them or even get the idea of this pilot of my head and see the other man. I keep comparing every single response of the new men to the pilot and think he was better all of this while I’m running out of time!!!! So the question is should I just get married to the new ones even if I don’t have annnnny butterflies or interest in them orrrrr wait some more to find my ideal guy that I always prayed for

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

you have seen the outside society and men how are they once think of you what you want in your life and think of the outside and take the decisions that make you happy and give you peace. Everyday being exhausted and hopeless find a guy who gives you hope and makes you happy. Think before making every decisions and do right.