“so in late july i got into a conflict with my group of online friends. actually the reason was that i ignored them s few times when they vented but tht time i was going through things and i needed escapism and isolation so i didnt read the gc. another thing is, i had a talking stage-situationship kinda thing and i only told 2 of them. and the other friend got offended cuz i didnt tell her but actually i didnt want to tell anyone about it until it was confirmed but one of them knew already and i needed help from another one. and i get in panic because of my situation at home. my parents are very toxic and controlling and i have a trauma from them and everything relating to them triggers me and during the time of my panic i get so negative and overwhelmed and when i talk to my friends i kinda talk and they try to calm me and then i have this intense urge to isolate myself before things get bad so i just isolate myself and dont answer or pick up their calls that time and that makes them worry alot. now these things and small things hurted them and they let it all out one day but im very very exhausted actually im going through bad things and tht time i apologized but it didnt seem that serious and some misunderstandings happened and all. but the thing is ive became emotionally numb. i literally do not feel emotions at all i dont even know ifim trully happy or not. and my emotional numbness made me feel like i dont care bout them. that time i didnt feel anything. no regret no guilt nothing. im sorry its not tht i dont actually care about them i do. ive wrote this long paragraphs for each of them on friendship day and friendship day is very special to me and i felt bad when they didnt repost my stories and i thought that are they mad at me or what. so all of this happened and my friend told everyone about the situationship i was hiding and everyone was hurt. i really dont regret hiding becuz i know once u tell ur friends about the situationship it immediately turns disaster and i really wanted to enjoy a little bit before it turns into a disaster. i was too mentally exhausted, i still am. so i literally deactivated my insta accounts and ghosted them. later on they asked bout me if im okay but i ignored them cuz if i text and all ill need to clear up the situation and make efforts and do the work to earn their trust again and all but im too mentally drained and exhausted and not to mention i have so many other problems going on too. its november now. i didnt wish 3 of my closest friends happy birthday. i feel so bad. i dont have any money to send them letters or gifts. another friend whom im closest too, her birthday is coming on november 28. my exams are finally ending that time and i was thinking about clearing up before that atleast try to talk but it will feel like i only care about her and not others. i ignored them and when it came to her birthday i wished. i dont want to be that person. idc if they dont wish me on my birthday whch is pn january but i just dont wanna be separated like that. my mental health is going so insane im making cuts on my body just to feel something. how do i apologize and clear up the situation please anybody help me”
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Someone answered with kindness...
male 23 here,
abe yaar bhai kyu just kyu tujhe sbki tension apne sar leni h ?
thank god hum ladko ksaath aisa kuch scene nahi h , i know as a girl these emotions and the things you are going thru might be a bit overwhelming ,..
but i think you care too much about others /their opinions/live in delulu/rather than putting your mental energy into something productive,on yourselves,on your future
ik friends are also imp part of our life,but aise friends hote h lya jo itni baato pe naaraj ho jae? mtlb kuch bhi ?
bhai aur ye body pe cut maarne waale kaam mt krio,maar khaegi .you don't know now , but later you will regret.
i think you don't move out from your room also too much /physically inactive ,jiski wjah se you just think about these think all the day long
develop some hobbies/pets/parks/have plants around you
badhiya songs sun/chhoti chhoti drawing/art bna /kaam pe dhyaan lga /screen time thoda kam kr