Someone once asked...

“so I was with this guy for 5 years and I've known him from ukg but we got separated and then met in class 10th through destiny and he was in love with me since ukg only and he says he never dated a girl after me for once in his life since I left, and that he was waiting for me for 11 years..he is a green forest I tell you, our vibes match 80% something but somehow he never got jealous whenever I told him other guy mssgd me, did this to me, I always kept comparing him from the other guys but still he was calm, not possessive, not saying a single word when he was angry but I started thinking he doesn't care about me, he is never worried if I talk to guys, how is he so chill...until one day I met another guy when I was having my 12th class board exams and I felt. connection with him like a spark..so I confessed him that I like him..and he also liked me...but I know I was going on the wrong path and I shouldn't be doing this. I told my boyfriend that he likes me and I like him too. he said it's just a fling and it will go away and I kept thinking why isn't he saying anything to me. the other guy whom I liked we fought like in every 2 days and he is possessive, controlling and everything you can think of as of a red flag but I still had feelings for him....I blocked this guy and he blocked me too many times but still I kept going back to him, meeting him, and everything and we got physical. I got physical with my boyfriend too after that. the one that I like was 3/10 in sex, but my boyfriend enjoyed sex and he satisfied me every single time and he also did after care too. so anyways my boyfriend caught me cheating on him and he said if I love this guy he will not bother me anymore and I can move on with the other guy, but somehow I still wanted him cause he was my comfort space he let me do anything, never ever said a word but now I was crying because all I did was betray this guy who only wanted love from me, and he still wanted to keep me after doing all this....I cheated on him because I thought I never deserved him and he will leave me one day like everybody did in my past. I told him you deserve better and there are some loyal girls out there unlike me. I am characterless and had so many relationships and what not, my childhood was also not good, I had abusive parents, I was sexually harassed by my uncle and had rape threats and so on. he still loved me he says he will love me until his death and he has already accepted me as his wife and I will be the only one who will give a child toh his heir. I have this guilt which will never be over, and so I decide that I will breakup and leave him, I did that, I December I breaked up and blocked both of them and tried to move on but somehow I ended up chasing the boy that I liked again and mssgd him again. we started dating and came to met me and solved everything that happened between both of us but again we used to fight every 3 - 4 days so whenever I was insecure or anything I didn't told him. after every fight I told him I want to breakup with you and he also told me he is also done with me. he never reassured me...sometimes...but he never understood me like my ex bf did....so I went back toh him too...he accepted me...we were living happily but then this guy whom I liked came and told me he was sorry and he shouldn't have said what happened and I was like no I can't go back to him. I can't betray my bf again. anyways come again to the point I told my green forest bf that I still like the other guy but he keeps doing me this, he once came to meet me to solve problems between us and he said i didn't do any efforts, so now I have to go meet him and say whatever I want to say. I wanted to tell that guys everything what I did to him and he will start hating me , so I went to this state where he lived and had the best moments of my life in those 2 days but on the last day he found out that I was with this guy for 5 years. so he didn't did anything to me because we both were drunk and then I had my train so he dropped me at the station and I left...by the way my current boyfriend only told me to go, fix and close this chapter, but I loved this guy so much...in the train I realized that I can't do this anymore I will tell him everything what I've been doing for years, I will own it whether he leaves me after this or hate me for doing these things to him...so after reaching home i confessed him everything and obviously he blocked me, and the boy I was in relationship I told him to find someone better than me and I left him, I can't do this, I had broke 2 hearts and my heart couldn't bear it . after few days that guy unblocked me and he started talking to me again. and I asked him why is he talking to me now after I did this to him?..he said he loves me so much he can't hate me. now help me sort my life please. I am so FUCKED UP. I did everything wrong, I think I have romanticized my trauma and I can't get out of my past.”

Someone answered with kindness...

kuch aur bhi bcha tha to wo bhi daal deti apni iss kahaani me aise hi raha to dekhna abhi to isse bhi lmbi lmbi kahaniya bnegi future me teri life k upr lagi reh , sahi chlri h

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