So I met this man online. He was in abroad, and then we talked for six months, and we decided to meet. He was coming to India, and he's from UP. I'm from Kolkata, so we decided to meet in Delhi. And we were obviously living separately. He was with his grandparents. So first day we met at a mall, we hung out, we went home, and then second day he decided to move to a hotel with me. So I thought it would be for one day. So yeah, we spent time in hotel, and the next day he said, Oh, I thought you were gonna stay with me for two to three days more till I'm going back to UP. So then I agreed. So like, I did not have any problem. I agreed to stay in the hotel with him, and we did what, like couples, do. But that when we went home, everything was good for some time And then when I asked for commitment, he said he is not sure because he felt weird after meeting me. Then I asked, Okay, then let's be friends. So he said, No. Why would I be friends with you? I really like you. It's not like I want to be friends with you. But it's just that I felt weird. Then we ignored that part, and we still talked for another six months, and we again decided to meet on my birthday. But he asked me to live separately and meet and hang out, but I was like, Why would you say that? And I was hurt by it. So I said, No, I don't want to do that. So but he still agreed for me, and we stayed in a hotel. We celebrated my birthday, but I could see that he was acting distant . So I asked, like it is because of that, like what you said you were feeling about me? He said, No, no, it's not like that. So I asked, Then let's end this. And he started crying, saying, I don't want to end this. Like it's not like that. And then we went back to our hometown and we were still talking and now he is suddenly, like, I don't want to be with you. I'm really not feeling that way, and I was crowded for not saying that early . I was afraid because I am attached with you emotionally, and I don't want to lose you. But I'm just not feeling that certain way that you feel when you see someone that you want to spend your whole life. And, like, but i just don't get it. Like, I mean, is it really that important? Because, like, how do you feel that? Because for me if I'm talking to this person, and this person has become such an important part of my life, then I want to spend my time, my life with this person. And he's like, No, I'm not feeling that way, a certain way, that he does not even know, he is not sure about. And he's saying, like, I am not feeling like kissing you 24 hours by myself, and things like that. He's saying that I got physical with and did all that because I thought I was supposed to do it, all those things, like physical things, but he's not really physically attracted to me that much. But I don't know, like it is really that important? Because like, he has not felt this way about his ex too, or his situationship he had before me. He did not feel that way about her too. So, like, I don't know. But we decided to meet for one month because I thought maybe we have not met enough time. Because during each six months, we only stayed together for three days each. So I thought maybe it is because we have not spent enough time. So I told him to come to Delhi next month for a whole month, and we will spend the whole month together. But, like, I'm so afraid. What if he still does not feel like it and we end things? Like, I'm really, really afraid, because I don't want to lose him. I really love him. So I'm really afraid. What if he does not feel that way about me after meeting me for one or two more times. And then What if he does not still feel that way? We are obviously living separately this time and meeting. But, like, I don't know. What should I do? I'm just so afraid. I really don't want to lose him. I just want some advice so that I can give him that advice or, like, we can fix this. I really want to fix this like is it that serious please help me

Question

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

see the problem is him he dont know what he feels he only thinks of himself . he dont think of you what matters to you he is selfish and if you really wants to be with him ask him what he actually feels or what he need what is not giving hope to him, get him clarity of his thoughts. dont be afraid