so i met this guy online a few weeks ago. We started talking and honestly things were going really well. He was extremely affectionate, would constantly text and call me, give me cute nicknames and say really sweet things. I genuinely started liking him.

We eventually went on our first date, and it was actually really nice. He was affectionate in person too, although I was pretty nervous and shy because I don't have much dating experience.

But after that date, I started noticing a change in his behaviour. He wasn't texting me with the same enthusiasm anymore, barely initiated romantic conversations and seemed less interested in talking. He said he was busy with work and moving to another city soon, which I completely understand, but the sudden change made me feel like he'd lost interest after meeting me.

I also have insecurities about my appearance, and he'd mentioned that I looked different in person compared to my pictures, so that made me overthink things even more.

Instead of communicating properly, I started emotionally pulling away because I was scared of getting hurt.

We had planned a second date over the weekend, but the day before, I told him I wasn't really feeling like meeting because I was overwhelmed. I also told him I'd confirm the next morning.

The next morning, I messaged him asking if we could meet around noon, but he didn't respond until after noon, saying he'd gotten extremely drunk the previous night and had just woken up. He said he couldn't ride his bike, which was originally part of our date.

He still asked whether we could meet, but I told him to rest and suggested another day. Later, a family member unexpectedly made plans with me, so I couldn't meet him that evening either.

After that, we didnt speak for an entire day, which was unusual because we'd been talking every day for weeks.

I eventually reached out and admitted that I missed talking to him and didn't like how things had suddenly become between us.

He responded by saying he was disappointed because he really wanted to spend time with me, that I was the one who originally said I didn't want to meet, and that he couldn't build a relationship through texting alone. He said he needed to spend time together in person first.

I completely understand his perspective, and I know pulling away instead of communicating wasn't the best decision on my part.

However, I also feel like he's overlooking the fact that he got too drunk to follow through with our original date.

He then said he's busy next weekend, doesn't know when we'll meet again because he's moving soon, and ended the conversation by saying he didn't feel like talking.

I sent a message explaining that I genuinely wanted to see him, that I was overwhelmed rather than uninterested, and that I'd respect his need for space. I ended with "take care," and he read it without responding.

I'm genuinely confused because I still like him and want to get to know him better. I don't know whether he's losing interest, feeling rejected by my behaviour, or whether this is simply a misunderstanding that got out of hand.

I know I have my own communication issues to work on, but I also don't want to keep pursuing someone who might not be interested anymore.

From an outsider's perspective, what do you think is happening here? Did I handle this badly? Is his frustration justified? Should I reach out again after giving him space, or would it be better to leave things alone?

Question

so i met this guy  online a few weeks ago. We started talking and honestly things were going really well. He was extremely affectionate, would constantly text and call me, give me cute nicknames and say really sweet things. I genuinely started liking him.

We eventually went on our first date, and it was actually really nice. He was affectionate in person too, although I was pretty nervous and shy because I don't have much dating experience.

But after that date, I started noticing a change in his behaviour. He wasn't texting me with the same enthusiasm anymore, barely initiated romantic conversations and seemed less interested in talking. He said he was busy with work and moving to another city soon, which I completely understand, but the sudden change made me feel like he'd lost interest after meeting me.

I also have insecurities about my appearance, and he'd mentioned that I looked different in person compared to my pictures, so that made me overthink things even more.

Instead of communicating properly, I started emotionally pulling away because I was scared of getting hurt.

We had planned a second date over the weekend, but the day before, I told him I wasn't really feeling like meeting because I was overwhelmed. I also told him I'd confirm the next morning.

The next morning, I messaged him asking if we could meet around noon, but he didn't respond until after noon, saying he'd gotten extremely drunk the previous night and had just woken up. He said he couldn't ride his bike, which was originally part of our date.

He still asked whether we could meet, but I told him to rest and suggested another day. Later, a family member unexpectedly made plans with me, so I couldn't meet him that evening either.

After that, we didnt speak for an entire day, which was unusual because we'd been talking every day for weeks.

I eventually reached out and admitted that I missed talking to him and didn't like how things had suddenly become between us.

He responded by saying he was disappointed because he really wanted to spend time with me, that I was the one who originally said I didn't want to meet, and that he couldn't build a relationship through texting alone. He said he needed to spend time together in person first.

I completely understand his perspective, and I know pulling away instead of communicating wasn't the best decision on my part.

However, I also feel like he's overlooking the fact that he got too drunk to follow through with our original date.

He then said he's busy next weekend, doesn't know when we'll meet again because he's moving soon, and ended the conversation by saying he didn't feel like talking.

I sent a message explaining that I genuinely wanted to see him, that I was overwhelmed rather than uninterested, and that I'd respect his need for space. I ended with "take care," and he read it without responding.

I'm genuinely confused because I still like him and want to get to know him better. I don't know whether he's losing interest, feeling rejected by my behaviour, or whether this is simply a misunderstanding that got out of hand.

I know I have my own communication issues to work on, but I also don't want to keep pursuing someone who might not be interested anymore.

From an outsider's perspective, what do you think is happening here? Did I handle this badly? Is his frustration justified? Should I reach out again after giving him space, or would it be better to leave things alone?

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Hi I'm a man and I can tell by that he's confused and doesn't know how to act. If a man has interest in someone we don't leave them we become attached to them and be clingy all the time. If he truly likes you he'll try to spend his entire time with you. And talking openly some do these acts to grasp the girl cuz some girls fall easily when they're confused and fix their mind that they like them so, until you genuinely feel safe and connected to him don't be anything physical with him or he'll leave once it's done. Don't put yourself down as you don't look good and all that, every person is beautiful in their own way. So be careful and be genuine to yourself.