so i broke up w my boyfriend for the second time he has been on my mind and i broke uo for the right reasons because he never put efforts. To meet me, he never tried to do anything. He was always— he always wanted to touch me and everything, but he never put efforts. He says that he wants to put efforts. He always says that he thinks of putting efforts, but he doesn't because of circumstances. And then the first time we broke up, he was shouting at me. That's why I broke up. Second time I broke up because he didn't even call me on my birthday. Like this is, like, just the most brief gist of my relationship. And today we see— we go to the same college, we go on the same bus, so inevitably I have to see him every single day. And today he didn't come in the bus, he left home early. So we made an eye contact, and I can't stop thinking about him. Like I'm just scared. What if he loves somebody else the way I want him to? I want him to love me. Everything is fucked up.

Question

so i broke up w my boyfriend for the second time he has been on my mind and i broke uo for the right reasons because he never put efforts.   To meet me, he never tried to do anything. He was always— he always wanted to touch me and everything, but he never put efforts. He says that he wants to put efforts. He always says that he thinks of putting efforts, but he doesn't because of circumstances. And then the first time we broke up, he was shouting at me. That's why I broke up. Second time I broke up because he didn't even call me on my birthday. Like this is, like, just the most brief gist of my relationship. And today we see— we go to the same college, we go on the same bus, so inevitably I have to see him every single day. And today he didn't come in the bus, he left home early. So we made an eye contact, and I can't stop thinking about him. Like I'm just scared. What if he loves somebody else the way I want him to? I want him to love me. Everything is fucked up.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

You can't make someone love you the way you like them. It's the effort they need to put. All you can do is communicate properly how you want to be loved. If he's only interested in touching you he have attraction for you. You just having an eye contact can't stop thinking about him says you are also very attracted to him. Good chemistry is fine. But efforts are the ones which define things.

There are two options -
1 - madly love him. Decrease expectations from him.
2 - if you can't do above and if you respect yourself make him understand that if he wants you he need to figure out a way to put in efforts.