so basically idk how to start but my love life is just fucked up. i am in high school rn and when i was in 11 grade one of my bestfriend decided she didnt wanna be friends with me anymore over a random fight .
she was such a huge part of my life we've been bestfriends for 12 years now and very hard for me to move on . i usually dont get attached easily but i just cant forget her because of all our memories.
while i was going through this i came across a guy through mutual friends and he recently had a breakup and so we started talking a lot and we could relate on how people can leave us no matter how good times we have with that person and slowly we both fell in love.
but the problem was that no one in the friend group knew we were this close and talked so much( we used to hangout without anyone knowing) and later i got to know that his bestfriend of 12 years used to like me and i was his first love.
so he said he didnt wanna date me because he didnt want to hurt his bestfriend.
but eventually we sorted things out and we started dating but things didn't work as we planned and we broke up in a month.
and then everyone forced me to get into a relationship with that guy ( who used to like me) and everyone used to ship us and due to a lot of pressure i said yes .
idk if i like that guy or just like the love which he gives me which jis bestfriend couldn't but everytime the entire group is hanging out together me and that guy meet and face eachother. we have a little eye contacts and when very less friends are around we're really touchy.
idk what to do if he still likes me or not and idk if i should tell my boyfriend that i dated his bestfriend ( although we decided to keep it our little secret)
i am just very confused rn

Question

so basically idk how to start but my love life is just fucked up. i am in high school rn and when i was in 11 grade one of my bestfriend decided she didnt wanna be friends with me anymore over a random fight .
she was such a huge part of my life we've been bestfriends for 12 years now and very hard for me to move on . i usually dont get attached easily but i just cant forget her because of all our memories.
while i was going through this i came across a guy through mutual friends and he recently had a breakup and so we started talking a lot and we could relate on how people can leave us no matter how good times we have with that person and slowly we both fell in love.
but the problem was that no one in the friend group knew we were this close and talked so much( we used to hangout without anyone knowing) and later i got to know that his bestfriend of 12 years used to like me and i was his first love.
so he said he didnt wanna date me because he didnt want to hurt his bestfriend.
but eventually we sorted things out and we started dating but things didn't work as we planned and we broke up in a month.
and then everyone forced me to get into a relationship with that guy ( who used to like me) and everyone used to ship us and due to a lot of pressure i said yes . 
idk if i like that guy or just like the love which he gives me which jis bestfriend couldn't but everytime the entire group is hanging out together me and that guy meet and face eachother. we have a little eye contacts and when very less friends are around we're really touchy.
idk what to do if he still likes me or not and idk if i should tell my boyfriend that i dated his bestfriend ( although we decided to keep it our little secret)
i am just very confused rn

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

i think you should be honest with your boyfriend, and maybe really think about if you actually like him or not. dont be in a realtionship because other people wanted you to be, and dont be in a relationship if you just like to be loved by him (which i understand, everyone wants to be loved) if yes to either of these things then its not fair to him. so just be honest with him and yourself.