“Please tell me “I went through a breakup 2 months ago and i cant get out of it....like the wound still feels fresh, i keep on stalking him or stalking his friends, i am soo hurt but i still cant figure out how to love myself like i want to be okay but i am sabotaging every ways to be okay.....i dont know what to do i just want to be okay......like i really loved him and no matter what he did to me i cant seem to forget him....i even deactivated my accound but i ended up stalking him on a second account....i really want some peace but my mind goes to scenarios of him coming back and stuff....everyone in my life hates him because of what he did to me and they all say i deserve better and our relationship lasted for a very short time and we barely know each other for a year but i genuinely loved him🥹.....after the breakup everything i do even taking care of myself is for the fact that one day i will improve enough and reactivate my account and post stuff and he will see it or any other scenarios i imagine, i was underweight( 35kg) and i started going to the gym and eating well after we brokeup sp that i can " glowup" essentially i do it for myself to make myself healthy and happy and mentally healthy too but a little part of me wants him to see it.....when we brokeup i couldnt eat more than few bites of food for weeks and my mother who is strict about relationships when she got to know about my heartbreak didnt even scold me because she noticed how much it effected me.....i havent been able to do anything without distracting myself and i cant bear to sit in this pain anymore.....i know there is change in the other side and that one day everything will be alright and it will all feel silly but rightnow its all too much i cant even sleep...i dont know what to do and everyone is giving the same old lame advice like keep going, focus on yourself, you are brave and you deserve better craps and noone is telling me what to do after and during a phase like this.....like i tried many things , i tried journaling, talking to someone,no contact and genuinely some other things too but i cant seem to hate him( i kind of do but i was genuine and i am very sad that he did me dirty like that and left me soo heartbroken like i dont have any power in my life) i feel very vulnerable and weak but everyday i am acting like it was all a blessing( it was but still i am acting) how do i truly get over it and as i said i dont want any bullshit advice if you want to scold me please feel free to do it if you want to be angry at me please do it it might help( we brokeup because he lost feelings, strangely he was the one who proposed then we brokeup after 2 months because he wasnt communicating well then got back together and dated for 4 months and he brokeup again becuase i wasnt toxic or controlling like his ex, and when i wzs genuinely trying to save our relationship thinking it was all my fault he just blamed me and said he cannot change or try and i didnt text him for 3 days and he didnt give a fuck and before we even had this convo he was being very rude dismissive and not at all interested in wtf i was doing, we were in a long dist rltn and saw each other 2 times ( strict parents) also he is 24 and working i am 20 and preparing for college entrance) as i said feel free to scold me even😭🙂💔”please dont say focus on myself and all thankyou💗”
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Someone answered with kindness...
I am sorry for what you went through. I went through something similar when I was around your age as well. You are obsessive over a person because that person made you feel seen. Which is why you constantly crave validation from him. I think you should shift that energy to something else, what is one aspect in which you want validation or where if you did well, you would feel amazing about yourself? I made mine my career and ended up going to one of the best universities for my subject in the world. Channel the energy you are wasting on him into something more meaningful once you start seeing results in that you will automatically forget him, and even look back and wonder how did I fall for such scum.