Ok here we go, I'm catholic, and I go to lots of catholic youth events and stuff, when I was 14, I met this girl who I quickly developed a crush on, I didn't think much about it at the time, because she lived far away from me and she like barely knew who I was. However we always go to the same events so and always saw it each other there so overtime we became closer friends, and over the last 2 years my feelings for her continued to develop. A couple months ago I got her number and we entered a talking stage so to say, that night we messaged back and forth for 8 hours straight. I just kept getting more and more attached, until I basically fell in love with this girl, we lived hours apart but talked on a daily basis. However after a week or two, my friend asked her how she felt about me, and she said she didn't know, and she was afraid of leading me on. So after that I tried to slow things down I guess, I messaged her once a week asking her how her week was and things stayed like that for a while. But overall the vibe is, she probably doesn't like me back, She started talking to someone else but it didn't last long, she mentioned to my friend that she thought that guy was a lousy texter, and she really liked my texting and talking to me. My friend told her at a party that I wasn't present at that I really liked her, and she said she sees me too much as a friend which is just great isn't it. Then about 5 weeks ago I saw her last at an event and I haven't talked to her since. In these last 5 weeks I've felt worse than ever before, I miss her, my relationship with christ has been failing and I'm angrier, more mean to people, more sad. I feel a lot of anxiety, specifically regarding my future. I know God has a plan for me but everything feels a bit grim rn. People keep telling me I've changed, I changed my look a little bit, i'm trying to put on some muscle, and I got glasses that i've kinda needed for a while, but I'm still the same me no? This has unfortunately caught some unwanted female attention at school, i've been invited to a couple of parties but I turn them all down, I won't even entertain the thought of going. All my friends go though, they talk about how much they drink, and make out with the girls and how cool all that is, I can't help but feel like a bit of an outcast because of my faith. Anyhow, I guess I came here just out of curiosity to see what a stranger might think, where do I go from here?

Question

Ok here we go, I'm catholic, and I go to lots of catholic youth events and stuff, when I was 14, I met this girl who I quickly developed a crush on, I didn't think much about it at the time, because she lived far away from me and she like barely knew who I was. However we always go to the same events so and always saw it each other there so overtime we became closer friends, and over the last 2 years my feelings for her continued to develop. A couple months ago I got her number and we entered a talking stage so to say, that night we messaged back and forth for 8 hours straight. I just kept getting more and more attached, until I basically fell in love with this girl, we lived hours apart but talked on a daily basis. However after a week or two, my friend asked her how she felt about me, and she said she didn't know, and she was afraid of leading me on. So after that I tried to slow things down I guess, I messaged her once a week asking her how her week was and things stayed like that for a while. But overall the vibe is, she probably doesn't like me back, She started talking to someone else but it didn't last long, she mentioned to my friend that she thought that guy was a lousy texter, and she really liked my texting and talking to me. My friend told her at a party that I wasn't present at that I really liked her, and she said she sees me too much as a friend which is just great isn't it. Then about 5 weeks ago I saw her last at an event and I haven't talked to her since. In these last 5 weeks I've felt worse than ever before, I miss her, my relationship with christ has been failing and  I'm angrier, more mean to people, more sad. I feel a lot of anxiety, specifically regarding my future. I know God has a plan for me but everything feels a bit grim rn. People keep telling me I've changed, I changed my look a little bit, i'm trying to put on some muscle, and I got glasses that i've kinda needed for a while, but I'm still the same me no? This has unfortunately caught some unwanted female attention at school, i've been invited to a couple of parties but I turn them all down, I won't even entertain the thought of going. All my friends go though, they talk about how much they drink, and make out with the girls and how cool all that is, I can't help but feel like a bit of an outcast because of my faith. Anyhow, I guess I came here just out of curiosity to see what a stranger might think, where do I go from here?

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

As a muslim, don't feel like you're an outcast. Those who indulge heavily in these hookup culture or so, they don't find true happiness or peace in such life. Don't let others peer pressure you into something you don't want, that never ends well, trust me. I think the girl is confused. She maybe likes you a bit but not much. It's good that she doesn't want to lead you on. I think you should have a serious talk again with her. And if she doesn't feel the same as you end the matter there. Don't let your lingering feelings grow by being around her. But if you want to stay as friends, stay as friends only. Have strict boundaries. Otherwise you're gonna fall into the same hole again