Namaskaram,

I am a 22-year-old woman who recently went through a painful breakup after a relationship of approximately six months. I still deeply love my ex-boyfriend and wish we could reconcile.

He was there for me during some of my most difficult moments, and I genuinely imagined marrying him.

**How our problems started:**

At the beginning of our relationship, he was uncomfortable with me following or communicating with men I had previously liked, dated, or who had expressed romantic interest in me.

There was one particular person I had previously had feelings for whom I wasn't ready to unfollow when my boyfriend asked me to. He was deeply shocked and hurt by my refusal, and I feel his attitude toward our relationship began changing after that incident.

At that time, I genuinely felt he was restricting my personal freedom and trying to control whom I could speak to. People around me also told me that his behaviour seemed controlling or manipulative.

Because of this, I resisted some of his requests. I wasn't trying to deliberately hurt him, but I felt conflicted between respecting his feelings and maintaining my independence.

Eventually, I agreed to many of his requests, but we had already experienced repeated arguments about trust, boundaries, and respect.

There were also significant disagreements involving my workplace and social media, including Snapchat. These incidents added to the tension between us.

**What happened before the breakup:**

I later learned from one of his friends that he had considered ending the relationship earlier. However, because we were living together and still had feelings for each other, he continued trying.

Eventually, after repeated arguments, he decided we weren't compatible.

He also began prioritizing moving out and having his own space.

**What happened most recently:**

I approached him again, hoping we could talk calmly. The breakup happened a week ago.

He told me that he had moved on, was trying to figure out his own life, and wanted me to do the same. He explicitly said he no longer felt romantic love for me and did not want the relationship.

I am struggling to accept this because I still love him deeply.

**My spiritual practices:**

I have been praying, visiting temples, and observing a vegetarian vrat. I have also been advised to perform certain traditional temple offerings.

**My questions:**

1. Did our relationship break down because of misunderstandings, incompatible boundaries, or a gradual loss of feelings?
2. How should I understand the difference between reasonable relationship boundaries and controlling behaviour?
3. Is there any meaningful possibility of reconciliation when he has explicitly said he has moved on?
4. From a traditional spiritual perspective, what prayers can I perform for clarity, peace, and the well-being of both of us?
5. How do I accept his decision while still having strong feelings for him?

I am not looking for false promises. I want sincere guidance because I am emotionally struggling and still wish we could have another chance. My parents are also getting divorced. He supported me initially but later when they proceeded to the process, I went to him he said since we are two different individuals now, I do not want to console you. i cannot.

Question

Namaskaram,

I am a 22-year-old woman who recently went through a painful breakup after a relationship of approximately six months. I still deeply love my ex-boyfriend and wish we could reconcile.

He was there for me during some of my most difficult moments, and I genuinely imagined marrying him.

**How our problems started:**

At the beginning of our relationship, he was uncomfortable with me following or communicating with men I had previously liked, dated, or who had expressed romantic interest in me.

There was one particular person I had previously had feelings for whom I wasn't ready to unfollow when my boyfriend asked me to. He was deeply shocked and hurt by my refusal, and I feel his attitude toward our relationship began changing after that incident.

At that time, I genuinely felt he was restricting my personal freedom and trying to control whom I could speak to. People around me also told me that his behaviour seemed controlling or manipulative.

Because of this, I resisted some of his requests. I wasn't trying to deliberately hurt him, but I felt conflicted between respecting his feelings and maintaining my independence.

Eventually, I agreed to many of his requests, but we had already experienced repeated arguments about trust, boundaries, and respect.

There were also significant disagreements involving my workplace and social media, including Snapchat. These incidents added to the tension between us.

**What happened before the breakup:**

I later learned from one of his friends that he had considered ending the relationship earlier. However, because we were living together and still had feelings for each other, he continued trying.

Eventually, after repeated arguments, he decided we weren't compatible.

He also began prioritizing moving out and having his own space.

**What happened most recently:**

I approached him again, hoping we could talk calmly. The breakup happened a week ago.

He told me that he had moved on, was trying to figure out his own life, and wanted me to do the same. He explicitly said he no longer felt romantic love for me and did not want the relationship.

I am struggling to accept this because I still love him deeply.

**My spiritual practices:**

I have been praying, visiting temples, and observing a vegetarian vrat. I have also been advised to perform certain traditional temple offerings.

**My questions:**

1. Did our relationship break down because of misunderstandings, incompatible boundaries, or a gradual loss of feelings?
2. How should I understand the difference between reasonable relationship boundaries and controlling behaviour?
3. Is there any meaningful possibility of reconciliation when he has explicitly said he has moved on?
4. From a traditional spiritual perspective, what prayers can I perform for clarity, peace, and the well-being of both of us?
5. How do I accept his decision while still having strong feelings for him?

I am not looking for false promises. I want sincere guidance because I am emotionally struggling and still wish we could have another chance. My parents are also getting divorced. He supported me initially but later when they proceeded to the process, I went to him he said since we are two different individuals now, I do not want to console you. i cannot.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

1. because he sayed no
2. u shold google
3. no
4. good ones
5. look for someone else