My problem is that I don’t want to lose my sense of self just for the sake of getting what I want. I know that happiness is a moment in life, and as such, I’ll also have to go through deep sadness. My issue goes beyond simply being happy; it’s about having something that lasts beyond just a fleeting relationship like the ones I’m used to forming. For example, a few weeks ago I started talking to a girl my age. I told her the truth from the start and said I thought she was cute, but I never told her that I actually liked her. The problem is that weeks went by, and she told me she wasn’t emotionally ready for a relationship. So I asked her if she wanted to just stay friends, and that’s what happened. We spent more weeks talking, but she became more and more distant, responding later and later—leaving my messages as “sent” and “seen” indefinitely. Meanwhile, she kept posting snaps and notes with love songs—it already seemed to me like she’d lost the desire and interest in talking to me. So I didn’t waste time overthinking whether she was interested; I unfollowed her and deleted our chats. As the days went by like that, I waited for at least one message like, “What’s up?” But nothing. Even now, my notifications from her are still silent, and I don’t understand why I keep trying this kind of thing. It’s happened to me before. Yesterday, when I went back to school, I saw her a couple of times from a distance—since we’re in different grades—and I keep wondering what I did to make myself seem so uninteresting or insincere. Am I really that overwhelming, or is there something so wrong with me?

PD: Im from Chile

Question

My problem is that I don’t want to lose my sense of self just for the sake of getting what I want. I know that happiness is a moment in life, and as such, I’ll also have to go through deep sadness. My issue goes beyond simply being happy; it’s about having something that lasts beyond just a fleeting relationship like the ones I’m used to forming. For example, a few weeks ago I started talking to a girl my age. I told her the truth from the start and said I thought she was cute, but I never told her that I actually liked her. The problem is that weeks went by, and she told me she wasn’t emotionally ready for a relationship. So I asked her if she wanted to just stay friends, and that’s what happened. We spent more weeks talking, but she became more and more distant, responding later and later—leaving my messages as “sent” and “seen” indefinitely. Meanwhile, she kept posting snaps and notes with love songs—it already seemed to me like she’d lost the desire and interest in talking to me. So I didn’t waste time overthinking whether she was interested; I unfollowed her and deleted our chats. As the days went by like that, I waited for at least one message like, “What’s up?” But nothing. Even now, my notifications from her are still silent, and I don’t understand why I keep trying this kind of thing. It’s happened to me before. Yesterday, when I went back to school, I saw her a couple of times from a distance—since we’re in different grades—and I keep wondering what I did to make myself seem so uninteresting or insincere. Am I really that overwhelming, or is there something so wrong with me?

PD: Im from Chile

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

I think you need a therapist.
Nothing else for me to say, it really just depends how deep this goes. Hopefully telling someone helped. Talking can really help, even if it is scary, as long as you trust that person not to judge your true character.

We are shaped into the person we are, not born like it. The only thing you can choose is your path.
Choose the right one. And have help beside you if you don't. It is okay to choose the wrong path though, I do it frequently.

OOOO WAIT GET A CAT MAYBE THAT WILL HELP!!!!! OR A DOG!!!!! OR JUST AN ANIMAL, I CAN'T PICTURE YOU WITHOUT A CAT OMG WTF

Ur wrong, somethings wrong with me not you lol