My ex and I broke up in January of this year (2026) and now, I am in grey november. I've moved cities and been down since July because I have to start a new life and I made the mistake of taking a 1 BHK which results in a lot of loneliness and alone time with just me and my tv.

Going back to my ex, the relationship was like a sin wave - the highs were very high and the lows were very low. There was nothing in between. We used to fight and bicker but then there were days where he showered me with immense love. Now when I talk about things I had in that relationship, even saying those out loud makes me realise, how f ed up those are (like he'd asked me granular details about my previous sexual encounter and when the versions didn't match - bcos I used to get nervous and not share the exact details to the T - he used to ask me follow up after a few days and when these versions didn't match, i was called a liar and I believed wholeheartedly that I hid and I lied and I gave him different versions - basis this hurt, he cheated on me saying that such lying behaviour of mine pushed him to cheat on me. (i was 20 and he was 23)

I forgave him the first time and then he did it again (dec, 2025) - he sent out a message asking out another girl - 3 days after I got my placement offer - and when I asked why - he said that he thought we'd had a breakup when he had expressed his displeasure on my day of being placed because I got a different city than what he was in.

There's more to this endless tale but my question is - there are days when I miss him, the good days, I know I don't wanna go back to him after all these and so many more things that he has done - but I wonder what he is doing - how is he in the autumn, is he going to all our places with my fav hot chocolate in hand. The weather is making me miss him and Delhi more.

Any takes on how to get better?

Question

My ex and I broke up in January of this year (2026) and now, I am in grey november. I've moved cities and been down since July because I have to start a new life and I made the mistake of taking a 1 BHK which results in a lot of loneliness and alone time with just me and my tv.

Going back to my ex, the relationship was like a sin wave - the highs were very high and the lows were very low. There was nothing in between. We used to fight and bicker but then there were days where he showered me with immense love. Now when I talk about things I had in that relationship, even saying those out loud makes me realise, how f ed up those are (like he'd asked me granular details about my previous sexual encounter and when the versions didn't match - bcos I used to get nervous and not share the exact details to the T - he used to ask me follow up after a few days and when these versions didn't match, i was called a liar and I believed wholeheartedly that I hid and I lied and I gave him different versions - basis this hurt, he cheated on me saying that such lying behaviour of mine pushed him to cheat on me. (i was 20 and he was 23)

I forgave him the first time and then he did it again (dec, 2025) - he sent out a message asking out another girl - 3 days after I got my placement offer - and when I asked why - he said that he thought we'd had a breakup when he had expressed his displeasure on my day of being placed because I got a different city than what he was in.

There's more to this endless tale but my question is - there are days when I miss him, the good days, I know I don't wanna go back to him after all these and so many more things that he has done - but I wonder what he is doing - how is he in the autumn, is he going to all our places with my fav hot chocolate in hand. The weather is making me miss him and Delhi more.

Any takes on how to get better?

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Think your best friend is this mad for a boy, what will you suggest? You'll want to hit her on the head!? Whenever you're in this kinda sttn think like a 3rd prson. And start chanting something religious like we do to let go a ghost/jin 🙂it do helps