My boyfriend has developed resentment towards three of my close female friends because of separate conflicts involving him and their boyfriends or them directly. With the first friend, a disagreement between the boys eventually got resolved, but my boyfriend later felt I had backed out of a college cultural event because she wasn't attending. He also felt that I prioritised going out with my friends after college over spending time with him. This eventually led to an argument involving her boyfriend, after which he instructed me to have absolutely no interaction with her. With the second friend, he felt publicly insulted when she responded rudely to him in front of his juniors during a college event, so he asked me not to initiate conversations with her. With the third friend, he felt disrespected when she refused to leave me alone while I was crying after an argument with him. He interpreted her response as interference in our relationship and subsequently asked me to limit contact with her. Although he has previously been friendly towards all three, planned birthday celebrations and wished them, none of them wished him on his birthday this year, which further intensified his resentment. Since then, his restrictions have become stricter. He now discourages me from interacting with these friends and even tells me not to join group outings, suggesting that he and I should go out alone instead. I understand that he feels hurt by their behaviour, but I feel increasingly restricted because I am being asked to give up or limit my friendships over conflicts that happened between them and him. I am confused about where reasonable boundaries end and controlling behaviour begins, and whether this is the kind of relationship in which I can maintain my independence and feel peaceful in the long term. Who's right here? Is he toxic or am i toxic. Should i tolerate this kinda behaviour

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Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Gurllll. Stand up for yourself!!! Can't you see wtf he's doing?? Dude is clearly trying to control you, and as what? Pati hai kya woh tumhara? Even if he was he dosen't have the right to control your friendships. He can advice but controlling is just wayy too toxic. Trust me, I've gotten out of a similar relationship a month ago and he started showing such tendencies and that's the sole reason i left him.  If you constantly feel that your actions would upset your bf or something, then you're not in a relationship, you're a prisoner of him and his emotions. And he too needs to know as a man to be emotionally independent rather than emotionally depending on a girl. And honestly speaking, i can clearly see that your friends are literally trying to be there for you and that garbage of a guy whom you call your bf is trying to distance you from them, cuz if your friends make you realize what kind if shit you're with you will no longer be w him. He's literally manipulating and controlling you. GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP ALREADY.  This dude will eat you alive, and the more time you spent w him, the more you'll disturb your mental health. Just save yourself asap