“Life is a burden for me. I feel this burden of asking for a financial support from my father. He has no money for himself. I feel like running away and never looking back.
There is a guilt inside me. My sister struggling to study because I chose to do that first, saying badly to her when she did so much for me.
There is sadness lingering inside. I am surrounded by these. There's happiness as well but for how long. I fear this is all. All I am ever gonna be.
No boy/girl got attracted to me. An insecurity I have. I changed everything about me. I am 22 now. I got away with the concept of love. I realized it very long that love isn't meant for me.
My mother called me a prost*tute when I was young and many more of it. That changed my perspective. I couldn't love her.
We don't call.
My father loves me dearly. But my anxiety, amger issues, depressive episodes; everything dislikes my father's love. I say badly to him. It affects him I know. I never changed. That insecurity stayed.
I want to change for my father and sister.
Recently diagnosed with 5 different diseases. If I take stress, it will get worse. But remembering not to take stress, and experiencing things that making me stressed out... I really want to just not hope for anything anymore.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
after reading about your life i dont know what to tell you but i can give advise is get any job make your family finanacilly stable i know you dont like your mother but talk to your father he is the hope to you he will makes you better and for your sister it is not your mistake it is life sometimes it is bitter try to not giveup be strong and dont take overstress dont think of getting love or money just think for your sister and father never put them aside someday life will become happy if you really feel stressed talk to people tell them listen to them make you feel lighter never ever lose hope be strong