I’ve developed a close friendship with a female colleague over the last half-year. We talk almost every night, and she opens up to me about everything—even minor daily frustrations. Because of this bond, I've caught feelings for her and feel deeply attached, though I'm completely in the dark about where I stand in her life.
Our dynamic is a rollercoaster: one day we’re talking non-stop for hours, and the next, she goes radio silent and ignores my messages for days at a time. This unpredictability drives my anxiety through the roof, leaving me terrified that she's slipping away. Yet, whenever she reappears and acts like nothing ever happened, I freeze up and avoid bringing up the difficult conversation we need to have.
What should i do now ?

Question

I’ve developed a close friendship with a female colleague over the last half-year. We talk almost every night, and she opens up to me about everything—even minor daily frustrations. Because of this bond, I've caught feelings for her and feel deeply attached, though I'm completely in the dark about where I stand in her life.
​Our dynamic is a rollercoaster: one day we’re talking non-stop for hours, and the next, she goes radio silent and ignores my messages for days at a time. This unpredictability drives my anxiety through the roof, leaving me terrified that she's slipping away. Yet, whenever she reappears and acts like nothing ever happened, I freeze up and avoid bringing up the difficult conversation we need to have.
What should i do now ?

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Mate I know your situation and trust me it's not about the person it's just you are the anxious type and anxious ones always attached to the avoidant one it's just psychology don't chase her it will only make things worse. work on yourself enjoy the moments with her don't go after once you get rid of your anxious attachment style things will go smooth and you will seek clarity in your relationship. Hope it helps you ❤️