“I've been dating this guy I met online from my school for about 5 months now he's a genuine good guy and he's been there for me through my hardest time in life too and I'm ever grateful to him he's all that I'd look for in a guy and I can see myself building a future with him too and yes I've truly loved but him too but there's this girl I grew very close to in my university I felt more emotionally connected to her during a difficult time and honestly she's been someone I can truly be myself without having to pretend she's someone who made me feel seen and understood she's made me feel things I've never once felt in my life she's like a blanket wrapped around me under sky full of fireworks I felt cared for and loved when I was with her and I genuinely felt for her too despite being in a relationship with this guy I did bring it up to him and we've been on and off since then I felt I was emotionally attached to this guy and I reached out again and we're here figuring things out but this girl I can still can't get her out my mind I've never felt this way with anyone before now that we're apart I feel like a part of me itself is missing I miss her and I know there's no way we could ever be together and still I find myself hoping for a tomorrow for us I don't know what is right or wrong anymore I've made decisions hurt people and hurt myself its not that there was something missing in my relationship I genuinely loved her and I think I always will and if there's another universe out there I wish we're together will I ever be able to accept this feeling and find my way back to her feels like a sin to love yet I'd want to carry the burden of that sin with me if it were for her.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
Honestly, I can't say that you're "wrong" because you can't control your feelings. Atleast you didn't hide it from your boyfriend, that's good. I'm glad you told him stuff. I would say, he has every right to choose to stay with or leave you. I wouldn't blame him. But, please, just don't stay with him if you already like the other girl. You sound like you're absolutely in love with her. However, it could've been a platonic feeling too, but from the way you described it, I don't think so. I would say, please leave the guy, you're only going to hurt him more over this. I know you're hurting as well, but you can't hold onto both of them, that is entirely wrong. Everyone deserves to be chosen, in your case, I don't think that you chose the guy at all. He deserves someone who loves him, and just him. Not anyone else. Again, I'm not blaming you, none of you are at fault here. I just hope things get alright soon. Hoping the best for both of you, even if in different ways.