“In grade 1 a boy and i liked each other. We also talked on letters started by him in grade 3. We spent alot of time together too. But from grade 4 to 5 to 6 also everyone in class shipped us too much so we couldnt talk to each other directly only indirectly sometimes through our respective bestfriends. In grade 6 we confessed to each other secretly. And then came covid. Since i felt guilty for all this so at the start of grade 8 when covid was ending i told him i dont like him anymore even tho i did. Then we talked only as friends for abt 6 months. Until in the second half of grade 8 we had a situationship after 5 months he got pissed off bcz of something i said. And btw before our situationship one of his female friends (A) confessed to him abt her feelings and he rejected her coz he hadnt moved on from me. After his pissing off i apologized and things were still just not the same between us. Then things got better after about a month. We used to talk on insta as we had holidays till july. These convos and soemtimes meeting in school from august to december were usually dry from his side and i was mostly putting in efforts but sometimes when his mood was good he would also put efforts. During this situationship he was in depression bcz of the fact tht the female (A) friend he rejected left him and also said some mean stuff to him. During our situationship, on my birthday he wrote me a letter and even gave me a ring asking me to marry him. In december we sort of just had a very normal hello , hi in school and after that in later dec my grandma passed away. And after tht i wanted him to come and ask me and put effort in trying to know where iam? Am i alright or not? (Worst part is tht he used to be so depressed abt the fact tht his grandpa passed away and i was there to support him........and he just abandoned me.)But he never came and my friends told him abt my grandma without asking me first. One of our mutual friends (S) (basically his girl best friend) also had a convo with him on insta regardimg me. To which he revealed that he did love me for 9 yrs but he also realized that he liked that female friend (A) too when she confessed but couldn't accept her as he didn't move on from me. Amd the only reaspn he liked her was bcz she reminded me of him??? (If it really was that way why was his mood bad bcz of her during our situationship when i was with him?? I mean if im with him then she shouldn't matter to him??) Anyways, we never had a convo after tht ever.i only wished him happy brithday he did same to me that year. In july that year he asked the same friend (S) who talked to him earlier that how am i? And even posted a story regarding if i ever got the chance of getting my first love back i would do it all over again?? Idk what that means tho. But my friend confirmed he considered me his first love. But he was still depressed for that female friend during this (A).... So the friend of mine which im talking abt was also his girl bsf (S) before she became mine. . their friendship turned into a relationship for about 5 to 6 months after which they broke up bcz he slid into another girls dms. And now just last year i saw him with another girl a junior.”

I wonder how is it tht he never seemed to suffer the consequences of wht he did to me??? How is it tht he never felt bad abt the fact tht he left me alone when my grandma passed away while knowing how i was always there whenever he needed me. He used to be so caring towards me?? what actually causes this kind of switch up? How did he just stop caring all of a sudden? Its been abt 3 to 4 yrs to all this.

Question

“In grade 1 a boy and i liked each other. We also talked on letters started by him in grade 3. We spent alot of time together too. But from grade 4 to 5 to 6 also everyone in class shipped us too much so we couldnt talk to each other directly only indirectly sometimes through our respective bestfriends. In grade 6 we confessed to each other secretly. And then came covid. Since i felt guilty for all this so at the start of grade 8 when covid was ending i told him i dont like him anymore even tho i did. Then we talked only as friends for abt 6 months. Until in the second half of grade 8 we had a situationship after 5 months he got pissed off bcz of something i said. And btw before our situationship one of his female friends (A) confessed to him abt her feelings and he rejected her coz he hadnt moved on from me. After his pissing off i apologized and things were still just not the same between us. Then things got better after about a month. We used to talk on insta as we had holidays till july. These convos and soemtimes meeting in school from august to december were usually dry from his side and i was mostly putting in efforts but sometimes when his mood was good he would also put efforts. During this situationship he was in depression bcz of the fact tht the female (A) friend he rejected left him and also said some mean stuff to him. During our situationship, on my birthday he wrote me a letter and even gave me a ring asking me to marry him. In december we sort of just had a very normal hello , hi in school and after that in later dec my grandma passed away. And after tht i wanted him to come and ask me and put effort in trying to know where iam? Am i alright or not? (Worst part is tht he used to be so depressed abt the fact tht his grandpa passed away and i was there to support him........and he just abandoned me.)But he never came and my friends told him abt my grandma without asking me first. One of our mutual friends (S) (basically his girl best friend) also had a convo with him on insta regardimg me. To which he revealed that he did love me for 9 yrs but he also realized that he liked that female friend (A) too when she confessed but couldn't accept her as he didn't move on from me. Amd the only reaspn he liked her was bcz she reminded me of him??? (If it really was that way why was his mood bad bcz of her during our situationship when i was with him?? I mean if im with him then she shouldn't matter to him??) Anyways, we never had a convo after tht ever.i only wished him happy brithday he did same to me that year. In july that year he asked the same friend (S) who talked to him earlier that how am i? And even posted a story regarding if i ever got the chance of getting my first love back i would do it all over again?? Idk what that means tho. But my friend confirmed he considered me his first love. But he was still depressed for that female friend during this (A).... So the friend of mine which im talking abt was also his girl bsf (S) before she became mine. . their friendship turned into a relationship for about 5 to 6 months after which they broke up bcz he slid into another girls dms. And now just last year i saw him with another girl a junior.”

I wonder how is it tht he never seemed to suffer the consequences of wht he did to me??? How is it tht he never felt bad abt the fact tht he left me alone when my grandma passed away while knowing how i was always there whenever he needed me. He used to be so caring towards me?? what actually causes this kind of switch up? How did he just stop caring all of a sudden? Its been abt 3 to 4 yrs to all this.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

I probably don't know how to answer this . I feel sorry for your loss and hope you are doing fine in your life .
The way he is behaving comes off as him being cheater.  Also him not comforting you and acknowledging your pain is kind of a stunt he played . He just wanted to check if he doesn't support you.  Will you still beg for his attention?
Him not being punished about his behaviour, it's kind of a thing that you will not see . But it can happen in future.  
Do you really believe that he cared about you all this time or was he keeping you as his option ??
I hope that you realise your own worth and stop caring about his rubbish . I am sure that I come off as rude.  
But you giving him your time and energy and thoughts are not worth it.  
Just believe that he will get what he deserves. 
Hope you have a good life .
You deserve the love and care unconditionally