I'm someone who gives my all to a friendship. So there was this friend of mine whom I met online in 2022. We shared almost everything, just like close friends do. Whether it was something new happening in our lives, good news or even random thingswe always had each other to share them with.

Whenever she was sad, I was always there for her. I would listen to her, encourage her, and support her. she did the same for me. We were genuinely close.

But in 2025, things started to change. She rarely texted first and whenever I texted her, she would respond with short, one-word or two-word replies. Sometimes she wouldn't even respond at all.

As a friend, I thought maybe she was going through something, so I ignored it. I didn't want to assume the worst. Even when I asked her what was wrong, she said she was busy with her cousin's wedding. I understood that but how could I explain an entire year of feeling like I was the only one trying?

At the same time, she would tell me things like, You're one of my closest friends and I never want to lose you. So I kept thinking that maybe I was just overthinking everything.

But bro I waited for almost a year. during that time, I realised that if I didn't text her first, we could go months without talking. We were close friends yet it felt like I was the only one trying to keep our friendship alive.

Eventually, in June 2026, I texted her and told her that I thought we should end our friendship. I wished her well and hoped she would do great things in life.

She asked if we could talk before ending things and I agreed because I didn't want to leave without hearing her side of the story. I genuinely didn't want to regret not giving her a chance to explain.

So, I told her how I had been feeling for the past year. she said she never realised that her behaviour was hurting me.

Honestly, that hurt even more. How could someone who considered me one of their closest friends not realise that something had changed between us?

She then said she didn't want to end our friendship. She told me that she cared about me and that she would change her behaviour. She said How can you end this friendship when I don't want to? It's our friendship.

honestly, I didn't want to lose her either. We had been friends for almost five years and she was a good friend to me.

here's the thing I never wanted her to change her behaviour just because I asked her to. I wanted her to put effort into our friendship because she genuinely wanted to not because she felt obligated to.

I wanted things to come naturally. I didn't want to feel like I was forcing someone to be my friend.

three days later, she deleted her account without saying anything.

I couldn't even say goodbye to her properly. Our last conversation was about trying to save our friendship, and then suddenly, she was gone.

It honestly hurt because I thought maybe she had left because of me. I thought maybe she didn't want to talk to me anymore.

But after about 30 days, I found her new accounts. She was happy, posting about her life and I realised that maybe I had been wrong to think her leaving had something to do with me.

and when I feel hurt as she never once try to text me lol

Because if she didn't want to be friends anymore why didn't she just tell me that? Why give me false hope by saying she didn't want to lose me and that she would change?

I understand that people's priorities change. I don't blame her for that. I don't even think she's a bad person. I still believe she's a good person and I genuinely wish her well.

But I wish she had been honest with me.

I wish she had just told me that she wasn't interested in maintaining our friendship anymore instead of making me believe that things could go back to how they used to be.

So, I eventually texted her again. This time, I told her everything I hadn't said before. I explained how much her behaviour had hurt me and how confusing the whole situation had been.

at the end, I told her that it was okay if she didn't want to be friends anymore. I just wanted an honest answer that time . I told her not to worry because I wouldn't disturb her again.

I also told her that I knew she was a good person but that maybe she just wasn't my friend anymore. I wished her well and hoped she got everything she wanted in life.

After sending that message, I blocked her because I was hurt. But after an hour, I unblocked her.

then I saw that she had blocked me.

Honestly, I don't understand why she blocked me when I was the one who had been hurt. I was the one who had been trying to save our friendship for an entire year. I wasn't trying to insult her or make her feel bad. I just wanted clarity.

that's what still bothers me.

I miss her and I won't pretend that I don't. She was an important part of my life and five years of friendship isn't something you can just forget.

But at the same time, I don't want us to be friends anymore.

I don't want to go back to a friendship where I have to question whether the other person genuinely wants me in their life.

I just wish she had let me leave that day instead of giving me hope that things would change.

Because honestly, I think what hurts the most isn't that the friendship ended. It's that I was willing to save it, but I never got the honesty and clarity I needed to let it go peacefully.I’m someone who gives my all to a friendship.

Question

I'm someone who gives my all to a friendship. So there was this friend of mine whom I met online in 2022. We shared almost everything, just like close friends do. Whether it was something new happening in our lives, good news or even random thingswe always had each other to share them with.

Whenever she was sad, I was always there for her. I would listen to her, encourage her, and support her. she did the same for me. We were genuinely close.

But in 2025, things started to change. She rarely texted first and whenever I texted her, she would respond with short, one-word or two-word replies. Sometimes she wouldn't even respond at all.

As a friend, I thought maybe she was going through something, so I ignored it. I didn't want to assume the worst. Even when I asked her what was wrong, she said she was busy with her cousin's wedding. I understood that but how could I explain an entire year of feeling  like I was the only one trying?

At the same time, she would tell me things like, You're one of my closest friends and  I never want to lose you. So I kept thinking that maybe I was just overthinking everything.

But bro I waited for almost a year. during that time, I realised that if I didn't text her first, we could go months without talking. We were close friends yet it felt like I was the only one trying to keep our friendship alive.

Eventually, in June 2026, I texted her and told her that I thought we should end our friendship. I wished her well and hoped she would do great things in life.

She asked if we could talk before ending things and I agreed because I didn't want to leave without hearing her side of the story. I genuinely didn't want to regret not giving her a chance to explain.

So, I told her how I had been feeling for the past year.  she said she never realised that her behaviour was hurting me.

Honestly, that hurt even more. How could someone who considered me one of their closest friends not realise that something had changed between us?

She then said she didn't want to end our friendship. She told me that she cared about me and that she would change her behaviour. She said How can you end this friendship when I don't want to? It's our friendship.

honestly, I didn't want to lose her either. We had been friends for almost five years and she was a good friend to me.

here's the thing I never wanted her to change her behaviour just because I asked her to. I wanted her to put effort into our friendship because she genuinely wanted to  not because she felt obligated to.

I wanted things to come naturally. I didn't want to feel like I was forcing someone to be my friend.

three days later, she deleted her account without saying anything.

I couldn't even say goodbye to her properly. Our last conversation was about trying to save our friendship, and then suddenly, she was gone.

It honestly hurt because I thought maybe she had left because of me. I thought maybe she didn't want to talk to me anymore.

But after about 30 days, I found her new accounts. She was happy, posting about her life and I realised that maybe I had been wrong to think her leaving had something to do with me.

and when I feel hurt as she never once try to text me lol

Because if she didn't want to be friends anymore why didn't she just tell me that? Why give me false hope by saying she didn't want to lose me and that she would change?

I understand that people's priorities change. I don't blame her for that. I don't even think she's a bad person. I still believe she's a good person and I genuinely wish her well.

But I wish she had been honest with me.

I wish she had just told me that she wasn't interested in maintaining our friendship anymore instead of making me believe that things could go back to how they used to be.

So, I eventually texted her again. This time, I told her everything I hadn't said before. I explained how much her behaviour had hurt me and how confusing the whole situation had been.

at the end, I told her that it was okay if she didn't want to be friends anymore. I just wanted an honest answer that time . I told her not to worry because I wouldn't disturb her again.

I also told her that I knew she was a good person but that maybe she just wasn't my friend anymore. I wished her well and hoped she got everything she wanted in life.

After sending that message, I blocked her because I was hurt. But after an hour, I unblocked her.

then I saw that she had blocked me.

Honestly, I don't understand why she blocked me when I was the one who had been hurt. I was the one who had been trying to save our friendship for an entire year. I wasn't trying to insult her or make her feel bad. I just wanted clarity.

that's what still bothers me.

I miss her and I won't pretend that I don't. She was an important part of my life and five years of friendship isn't something you can just forget.

But at the same time, I don't want us to be friends anymore.

I don't want to go back to a friendship where I have to question whether the other person genuinely wants me in their life.

I just wish she had let me leave that day instead of giving me hope that things would change.

Because honestly, I think what hurts the most isn't that the friendship ended. It's that I was willing to save it, but I never got the honesty and clarity I needed to let it go peacefully.I’m someone who gives my all to a friendship.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Hey there,

Please don't beat yourself up over things that weren't your fault. The way your friend treated you was on her and it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. People change and I know you already understand that. But the thing is you feel things deeply and feeling deeply is a blessing. However it can drain you sometimes especially when your efforts aren't being reciprocated.

I'd suggest you focus on yourself. You're the kind of person who can give someone your everything in a heartbeat and that's what makes you who you are. So stop seeking answers from your friend about why she did what she did. Sometimes not getting closure is closure in itself.

Focus on yourself and from now on whenever you feel that your efforts aren't being reciprocated learn to walk away. Not out of bitterness but for the sake of your own mental health.

Wishing you all the best. ❤️