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Not being able to trust after being cheated on twice is reasonable. But just because you were hurt, hurting someone else isn't justified. That guy has loved you for 4 years and since you weren't able to be in a relationship you told him to wait which he is doing, but eventually you will have to come out of this situation and choose him or stay away from him. He doesnt deserve to be second guessed. Take your time, clear your head and see which decision your heart calls out for and take that. Hope this helps.
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