Someone once asked...
Someone answered with kindness...
You are experiencing a second maturation. You already know how it goes, just need to accept it. I wish we could do that more often, not just a couple times in life.
Another soul answered...
I assume you never woke up and looked into the mirror and said: I am going to be bad today. You gave your best with what you where given. What does a life not wasted even look? What can you do today that makes your life feel a bit less "wasted"? Do it. The best time to start something is in the past, the second best time is now. This applies for not wasting your life and being a decent person.