“I´m just very uncertain about the relationship I´m in. In the last six month I´ve actively perceived my very own thoughts and beliefs warping under the weight of staying with someone that wasn´t making me happy. He´s wonderful, but mostly when he´s not working. He turns into a complete different person. He´s not violent or aggressive, just exhausted. The job pays fairly well and I was unemployed for a while, which definitely didn´t help. I´m working now and I just dread coming home to him during the week cause he´s truly awful. Cold, emotionless, without understanding. Oh and because the job literally phisically kills him, he comes and does absolutely nothing. When i was unemployed I didn´t care, I had time and energy it was fine. Now, before I´m even on my way home from work, I´m calculating hiw long it will take to complete my household chores and the ones he didn´t do before I can finally relax.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
Have you told him how you feel? I've been on both sides of this coin - the overworked, unavailable man and the neglected partner.
It's not the job, sadly. I wish it was that easy. Imagine if he had the same job but rather than being "cold, emotionless, without understanding" at home he was instead "kind, calm, and relaxed." Would you really care that much if he was tired?
Also, if you live together and he's not pulling his weight around the house, that's not cool.
It sounds like a potentially uncomfortable conversation is on the horizon. That's ok. Be honest with him. He's probably going to feel attacked, but that's just because he's fragile. Be patient. A part of him thinks he is doing this work for you. T
Or he's a bum and you need to drop him. That's a possibility too. There's a lot of bums out there...