I’m 29 years, I have been to myself for a decade straight ,loneliness has wrecked my life,joining medschool and severe stress has triggered a mental health condition in me for which I might have to be on meds for lifetime,I’m not even sure whether i have it for sure or it was just an emotional dys regulations,I now feel like choosing medicine is the most fatal decision I’ve ever made, I hate my own existence which looks like I’m completely flawed for life, I was just 19when I started Psy meds,I really wanna get rid off it atleast for whatever life is remaining, I also wanna make meaningful connections and good friends despite being a failure, I’ve forgotten how to connect to people, communicate well,be efficient and make my day go productive, I now don’t even have a beautiful purpose in life to keep going, I don’t have dad in life ,it has snatched away major component of my true self and happiness, i legit dunno what else to do in life,I really wish to go and undo certain things in life in past, every day I wake up crying, can anyone please help me out with this??

Question

I’m 29 years, I have been to myself for  a decade straight ,loneliness has wrecked my life,joining medschool and severe stress has triggered a mental health condition in me for which I might have to be on meds for lifetime,I’m not even sure whether i have it for sure or it was just an emotional dys regulations,I now feel like choosing medicine is the most fatal decision I’ve ever made, I hate my own existence which looks like I’m completely flawed for life, I was just 19when I started Psy meds,I really wanna get rid off it atleast for whatever life is remaining, I also wanna make meaningful connections and good friends despite being a failure, I’ve forgotten how to connect to people, communicate well,be efficient and make my day go productive, I now don’t even have a beautiful purpose in life to keep going, I don’t have dad in life ,it has snatched away major component of my true self and happiness, i legit dunno what else to do in life,I really wish to go and undo certain things in life in past, every day I wake up crying, can anyone please help me out with this??

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

One thing I've learned is we can't undo what is done. But we can make sure that we don't ruin the rest of our life with it. Instead of 10 years in the past, think of yourself 10 years in the future. Imagine the most happy version of yourself. And ask yourself what you're doing. Start working on those things. And with medical, I don't think you should hurry to leave it. You've already come so far. You survived 10 years into it. I want you to know your life isn't ruined with or without medical. You are still alive. You still get toake choices till the day you take your last breath. So while I can't tell you what to do with your career, that's your choice to make, I can tell you one thing and that is to keep going. Make the choices, you want to make. It's okay if they don't work out. You're not running out of time. You still have time. You are alive. Be grateful for that. Go outside, talk to people. There are so many people who have lost their life already. But you are alive. That means you have a purpose. Just take a little moment for yourself right now. Do what you enjoy. A hobby or just a day off. Go out and do whatever you want.