I'm 22, graduated from college this year, and honestly, I feel like I wasted so much money on a degree that taught me absolutely nothing. It was expensive as fuck, and I barely learned anything.
I did manage to get a job at a well-known company, but it involved night shifts and travelling almost 40 km one way, every single day, through Bengaluru traffic. The pay was good, but the job was draining me from the inside out. So I took a bold step and resigned, thinking I'd find another job soon. But it's been almost a month now, and I still haven't found anything.
Meanwhile, my personal life is going downhill too. I'm experiencing an overwhelming amount of gender dysphoria. I was born male, but deep inside, I know I'm a woman. And the hardest part is that I have absolutely no one to talk to about any of this. I have zero friends. My parents are a whole mess of their own. They fight with each other almost every single day. Neither of them is perfect, but honestly, my dad is a major part of the problem.
We're not financially stable either. I'm not a genius, and I've never been particularly good academically. I've always been an average-to-below-average student. Poor academics, no social life, financial problems, and now, all of this. Meanwhile, I see my classmates working at Fortune 500 companies, seemingly moving ahead with their lives.

And to top it all off, I had saved a little money for myself, but my idiot dad asked me for it, so I gave it to him. Now he isn't even returning it. Fuck this. I don't even have the money to seek therapy, let alone figure out how to deal with everything else.
I'm literally stuck. I have no one to talk to, no real support system, and no idea how to move forward. I'm sad, exhausted and just numb at this point.
And seeing people around me living happy, successful lives makes it even worse. Seeing other girls transitioning, going on trips, dressing up, enjoying their lives and just being themselves... I feel so jealous. I wish I could experience those things too. I wish I could just live my life as a woman without constantly having to worry about everything. Instead, I'm stuck dealing with all this while having to boymode.
Sometimes I genuinely wonder, why was I even born? I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know how to move ahead. I'm just tired of feeling this way.

Question

I'm 22, graduated from college this year, and honestly, I feel like I wasted so much money on a degree that taught me absolutely nothing. It was expensive as fuck, and I barely learned anything.
I did manage to get a job at a well-known company, but it involved night shifts and travelling almost 40 km one way, every single day, through Bengaluru traffic. The pay was good, but the job was draining me from the inside out. So I took a bold step and resigned, thinking I'd find another job soon. But it's been almost a month now, and I still haven't found anything.
Meanwhile, my personal life is going downhill too. I'm experiencing an overwhelming amount of gender dysphoria. I was born male, but deep inside, I know I'm a woman. And the hardest part is that I have absolutely no one to talk to about any of this. I have zero friends. My parents are a whole mess of their own. They fight with each other almost every single day. Neither of them is perfect, but honestly, my dad is a major part of the problem.
We're not financially stable either. I'm not a genius, and I've never been particularly good academically. I've always been an average-to-below-average student. Poor academics, no social life, financial problems, and now, all of this. Meanwhile, I see my classmates working at Fortune 500 companies, seemingly moving ahead with their lives.

And to top it all off, I had saved a little money for myself, but my idiot dad asked me for it, so I gave it to him. Now he isn't even returning it. Fuck this. I don't even have the money to seek therapy, let alone figure out how to deal with everything else.
I'm literally stuck. I have no one to talk to, no real support system, and no idea how to move forward. I'm sad, exhausted and just numb at this point.
And seeing people around me living happy, successful lives makes it even worse. Seeing other girls transitioning, going on trips, dressing up, enjoying their lives and just being themselves... I feel so jealous. I wish I could experience those things too. I wish I could just live my life as a woman without constantly having to worry about everything. Instead, I'm stuck dealing with all this while having to boymode.
Sometimes I genuinely wonder, why was I even born? I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know how to move ahead. I'm just tired of feeling this way.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Hey , take a deep breath and slowly let it out.  You are spiralling because of all this situation.  It's okay.  
It's gonna work out for you wonderfully. .
You should focus more on getting a job and getting out of that house. Have some boundaries with your parents. .don't tell them your full income if you get job.  Also don't mention to them about saved money. .also know when to lie to your parents .
If you want someone to just yap as a friend  . I can be there for you.  
We can talk on reddit if you want.  AgencyExtreme6620 it's my profile. No weird photos or test pls .