If I choose to stay with him then I lose myself bit by bit every single day but if I leave then I lose him and its so hard to decide what to do. he is my first ever boyfriend and the first ever guy who has made me feel loved and he is like the sweetest and the most perfect guy but he just does not seem right to me, like he does not align with the vision I have for my life. He is very attached to me and swears to god that he cannot live without me. he has been treated very bad in his previous relationships and I feel very guilty right now because if i leave him then he is again going to feel very hurt again and I do not want such a sweet guy to go through all that again because this guy has not done anything wrong and he deserves the absolute best but I cannot stay with him . I really do not know what to do, should I stay or leave?

Question

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Can you tell me the reason why you don't want him? Before answering you i would like to tell you my story which is similar to yours. Few years back I had a male friend who is very attached to me and kinda developed feelings for me. I was in the same situation as yours.. he was kind and sweet but I don't want him as my boyfriend and he doesn't want me as his bestfriend. I don't want to leave him cuz he did nothing wrong and I understand feelings are natural and someday he would understand it is just attachment not love. I communicated with him but he still want me as his girlfriend. I felt so guilty and pressured about the situation. It was disturbing me soo much and affected my mental health. We had a big Convo and tried to solve but it was never ending so I choose to leave cuz staying in hurted me as well as him. So time changes and now I have moved on and he too. Here I don't encourage you to do the same thing cuz Idk the full situation of yours yet. So I recommend you both to communicate about what you feel abt him and what could be done to solve. If communication isn't possible watch your feelings if you don't feel right then leaving is better than regretting again and again. Remember you don't have to carry the guilt if you decide to end things because you and your feelings matter more than anything. I'm just suggesting you this cuz I had a similar experience. You don't have to follow my advice if it doesn't feel right :). I hope everything is okay💗. Thank you for reading!