idk who to talk to about this because im pretty confused myself, im js gonna rant here...

so im almost 20, and i have never dated before, because i was lowkey more into my academics and building a career and stuff, but i got into a relationship with my hb recently (in september) like i just wanted to go with the flow and i kinda liked him so i said yes.. he is a great guy but i feel like im not made for a rs? like yk it lowkey feels like a confinement. again this is my first time so maybe its that or i might just have commitment issues or im avoidantly attached (or both)..
we are like polar opposites honestly but theres room for understanding and all.
but what scares me is me having to compromise my goals or wtv... i actually dont see myself just marrying and settling down in the future, i have so much i want to experience and do ALONE, cuz its been a dream of mine since i was a kid.
should i even be thinking all this?? is a rs even as serious as its sounding to me?? im so lost honestly..
he is someone who has a bit of anxious attachment style, and he craves spending time with me alot or craves kisses and all, but i personally dont, like idk i feel like if you do it a lot then the spark will be gone lol, im not a very romantic person, can say im a bit neutral.. like i crave emotional connection more.. he gets mad pretty often, more than me, and mostly its him doing it to himself lol

i dont even know what im talking about makes sense, just a rant, any advices are welcome tho ^^

maybe im js thinking too much about this and its all in my head.

Question

idk who to talk to about this because im pretty confused myself, im js gonna rant here...

so im almost 20, and i have never dated before, because i was lowkey more into my academics and building a career and stuff, but i got into a relationship with my hb recently (in september) like i just wanted to go with the flow and i kinda liked him so i said yes.. he is a great guy but i feel like im not made for a rs? like yk it lowkey feels like a confinement. again this is my first time so maybe its that or i might just have commitment issues or im avoidantly attached (or both)..
we are like polar opposites honestly but theres room for understanding and all. 
but what scares me is me having to compromise my goals or wtv... i actually dont see myself just marrying and settling down in the future, i have so much i want to experience and do ALONE, cuz its been a dream of mine since i was a kid.
should i even be thinking all this?? is a rs even as serious as its sounding to me?? im so lost honestly..
he is someone who has a bit of anxious attachment style, and he craves spending time with me alot or craves kisses and all, but i personally dont, like idk i feel like if you do it a lot then the spark will be gone lol, im not a very romantic person, can say im a bit neutral.. like i crave emotional connection more.. he gets mad pretty often, more than me, and mostly its him doing it to himself lol

i dont even know what im talking about makes sense, just a rant, any advices are welcome tho ^^

maybe im js thinking too much about this and its all in my head.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Hey! This is my first time in this app. Your question was the first thing I saw.. I'm almost 23 rn.. I have been in 2 relationships.. I'm single now.. bcs it didn't workout. But yes as you grow up you would crave for a mature emotional connection with good chemistry..My advice would be its okay to feel  confused but don't give him hopes that you wouldn't be able to fulfil.. in a relationship it's impt that both of you are feeling the same.. Maybe you are not romantic bcs you didn't find the right guy ig..