Someone once asked...

“I was once part of a trio with two girls. We became friends in the last year of school. They were always closer, the duo in a trio really. I tried, in every way I could, including talking to them about my feelings, but no matter the relief I felt in the moment nothing ever changed. End of last year I completely stopped talking to them, after a long time of feeling left out and unimportant as a friend to them. It's been almost a year since we talked. One of their birthdays just passed so it brought back a lot of those feelings. I wish I knew an easy way to let go without turning bitter about it. I wish they would've changed their behavior and tried too. I wish I didn't have to be the only one wanting and trying to save this friendship. I wish I wasn't the only one to carry the hurt that came with it. I cannot blame them but I feel if I never met them, perhaps I wouldn't be ledt wondering what could've been.”

Someone answered with kindness...

Hey cutie! I was in the exact same situation in my uni, I also felt excluded from time to time and it was clear I was the extra friend and honestly, I took a step back too, stopped talking, disconnected. And initially like you, I was also wondering what I didn't had that I couldn't be a part of them.. but then slowly I was flooded with relief because being away from them meant I was no longer in constant performative mode to be liked or trying to fit in, the pressure was off my shoulders. I gave myself time to think about what I wanted in a friendship and it was things like sincerity, mutual love and respect and realized.. I didn't had that, I also realized some other moments where those 'friends' were not the nicest or kindest. But like you, I don't blame them.. or myself. Because I tried my best, I gave them the love I could've , my sincerest self.. but if they don't.. it's not my fault. So I wanna tell you that what is yours will find you, make effort for you and do whatever it takes to involve and include you. And what's not meant for yours, will tire you, make you miserable etc Take care of yourself, you'll make new and better friends, friends that love you, adore you, absolutely make you feel your most confident self. I'm sure you will find them. Anyways best of luck and don't dwell on things that didn't work out, there's a reason why they didn't.