I was in a relationship for almost four years with a guy who was my college classmate. He was genuinely a nice person, very sweet and calm. But there was one major issue in our relationship. Whenever we had a fight or disagreement, he would just go silent or avoid the conversation altogether. The next day, he would act as if nothing had happened.

This had been happening since the very beginning of our relationship. I tried so many times to talk to him about it and explain how it made me feel, but somehow, every conversation about this would end up in another fight.

Eventually, I stopped bringing things up. I stopped confronting him about anything. Even when something hurt me, even when I felt anxious or upset, I would just keep everything to myself and pretend everything was fine. I kept doing this until I became emotionally exhausted. I felt so overwhelmed that I finally decided I couldn’t do it anymore, and we broke up four months ago.

At that time, he was living abroad, but now he’s coming back, and he has told me that he wants to meet me.

Honestly, I’m scared that if I meet him, I’ll get emotionally attached again, forget everything that happened, and end up giving him another chance. But I spent four long years hoping that things would change, hoping that he would understand how much this affected me. And nothing really changed.

I don’t want to go through the same thing all over again. I don’t think things will be different just because I give him another chance. But at the same time, I’m confused about what to do. I don’t know whether I should meet him or just maintain my distance.

Question

I was in a relationship for almost four years with a guy who was my college classmate. He was genuinely a nice person, very sweet and calm. But there was one major issue in our relationship. Whenever we had a fight or disagreement, he would just go silent or avoid the conversation altogether. The next day, he would act as if nothing had happened.

This had been happening since the very beginning of our relationship. I tried so many times to talk to him about it and explain how it made me feel, but somehow, every conversation about this would end up in another fight.

Eventually, I stopped bringing things up. I stopped confronting him about anything. Even when something hurt me, even when I felt anxious or upset, I would just keep everything to myself and pretend everything was fine. I kept doing this until I became emotionally exhausted. I felt so overwhelmed that I finally decided I couldn’t do it anymore, and we broke up four months ago.

At that time, he was living abroad, but now he’s coming back, and he has told me that he wants to meet me.

Honestly, I’m scared that if I meet him, I’ll get emotionally attached again, forget everything that happened, and end up giving him another chance. But I spent four long years hoping that things would change, hoping that he would understand how much this affected me. And nothing really changed.

I don’t want to go through the same thing all over again. I don’t think things will be different just because I give him another chance. But at the same time, I’m confused about what to do. I don’t know whether I should meet him or just maintain my distance.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

If he couldnot understand the mental strain he put on you back then, will he listen to you now? I dont think so.