“i was considering a queer identity but im always anxious of my searches being looked at by my parents or hacked. my friend looked some stuff up for me for like maybe 10 minutes. one thing they saw was an alternative word and i just like the etymology and sound of it much better than the standard word. we decided to make a nickname for me based on this word and i said they could tell people about it but then they told everyone that they need to call me that which is not what i meant. and like they continued to tell everyone we knew to call me this and every time i corrected saying it's a nickname and they can use it if they liked it because that's what it was.
a couple months later i had the courage to look into this identity myself and i did hours and hours of research. literally every single page tells you that this word i had been calling myself is considered a slur. it used to not be a slur and is sorta being reclaimed, but like in modern times it is equivelant to the f slur. in my mind i tried to aggressively be on the side of reclaiming it because i didnt want to admit what had happened. i do think it should be reclaimed but ive asked to stop being called that nickname.
i dont see how this wasnt intentional. in general this person was mean to me about my identity but like pretended they were being supportive by gaslighting me about who i was and talking about my identity of front other people when i wasnt out yet. i feel like they did this so that my community would reject me. i feel so embarassed about it and i dont know if i should give them the benefit of the doubt.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
No you shouldn't, the person you are talking about feels like a friend in disguise please be careful around that person and i suggest do not share everything about yourself to this person keep it minimal.