I want some honest advice because lately I've been feeling emotionally confused, and I don't understand why I'm getting affected by this situation.

There's a senior from my college. He first approached me through Instagram. He messaged me once, but I didn't reply. After a month, he messaged me again, and eventually I responded.

During our conversation, he told me that he had seen me at college. Later, he admitted that this wasn't true. He had actually found my Instagram profile through suggestions and made up the college story because he was afraid I wouldn't respond if he told me he was a stranger. He apologised and told me the truth himself.

He initially seemed interested in getting to know me. But I was clear from the beginning that I wasn't interested in a relationship and didn't want to give him false hopes. He then suggested that we could just be friends, and I agreed.

Here's where I feel confused. Whenever he messages me, he talks very affectionately and warmly. He asks how I am, whether I've eaten, and sometimes says things that make the conversation feel caring and personal. He even says that he feels like asking me how I am repeatedly every day.

But he takes a long time to reply. Sometimes he starts a conversation, asks a few questions and then disappears. After some time, he comes back and starts messaging again as if nothing happened.

This inconsistency confuses me. If he isn't interested in maintaining the friendship, why does he keep initiating conversations? And if he genuinely wants to be friends, why does he disappear in the middle of conversations?

I agreed to friendship because he suggested it. But somehow, I find myself waiting for his messages and feeling disappointed when he doesn't reply. I don't understand why someone I barely know can affect my emotions this much.

A part of me hopes he'll message again, while another part tells me not to compromise my self-respect for inconsistent attention.

I'd like honest opinions on these questions:

1. Why am I getting emotionally affected by someone I barely know?
2. Why do affectionate messages make me hopeful even when his communication is inconsistent?
3. Should I continue this friendship if he messages again?
4. How can I stop waiting for his messages and overthinking his behaviour?

I genuinely want to understand my emotions and handle this situation maturely. I'd appreciate honest advice and different perspectives.

Question

I want some honest advice because lately I've been feeling emotionally confused, and I don't understand why I'm getting affected by this situation.

There's a senior from my college. He first approached me through Instagram. He messaged me once, but I didn't reply. After a month, he messaged me again, and eventually I responded.

During our conversation, he told me that he had seen me at college. Later, he admitted that this wasn't true. He had actually found my Instagram profile through suggestions and made up the college story because he was afraid I wouldn't respond if he told me he was a stranger. He apologised and told me the truth himself.

He initially seemed interested in getting to know me. But I was clear from the beginning that I wasn't interested in a relationship and didn't want to give him false hopes. He then suggested that we could just be friends, and I agreed.

Here's where I feel confused. Whenever he messages me, he talks very affectionately and warmly. He asks how I am, whether I've eaten, and sometimes says things that make the conversation feel caring and personal. He even says that he feels like asking me how I am repeatedly every day.

But he takes a long time to reply. Sometimes he starts a conversation, asks a few questions and then disappears. After some time, he comes back and starts messaging again as if nothing happened.

This inconsistency confuses me. If he isn't interested in maintaining the friendship, why does he keep initiating conversations? And if he genuinely wants to be friends, why does he disappear in the middle of conversations?

I agreed to friendship because he suggested it. But somehow, I find myself waiting for his messages and feeling disappointed when he doesn't reply. I don't understand why someone I barely know can affect my emotions this much.

A part of me hopes he'll message again, while another part tells me not to compromise my self-respect for inconsistent attention.

I'd like honest opinions on these questions:

1. Why am I getting emotionally affected by someone I barely know?
2. Why do affectionate messages make me hopeful even when his communication is inconsistent?
3. Should I continue this friendship if he messages again?
4. How can I stop waiting for his messages and overthinking his behaviour?

I genuinely want to understand my emotions and handle this situation maturely. I'd appreciate honest advice and different perspectives.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Sorry I can only answer one question. So from my observation he seems to be doing the pull push method (I think that’s what it’s called) purposefully or not but hes doing it. Basically for this method to get close to someone faster you have to like get really clingy and stuff. Let them get used to it so when you don’t do it they miss it, you can also see this behaviour when you miss fighting/ arguing with your siblings and when you don’t see them often you miss it even if you didn’t enjoy it in the first place. So that is what I think is the reason behind why youre wanting to talk to him or missing him is. Have a nice day!