“I think that my friend circle has a issue regarding communication or something similar to it. It's not like they don't care about me, they do but it feels odd to me. I tried to test them by suddenly ghosting them like not following up to them when they walk, I saw they were talking & walking but didn't notice that I wasn't with them & they didn't call me to ask about my whereabouts. Two of my friend is my roommate of my dorm, when they returned they asked where was I, why didn't I tell them& teased me saying you always stay with your bf & you two always disappear at the same time ( I do stay with my bf in the class breaks but not always he has his own circle). I replied that you guys should have called me instead of wondering where I went, I always call you guys when I can't find you or one of you is missing, do I always have to inform you guys? You guys should also do the same. I suppose they didn't take that seriously.
Another thing is that they don't include me in the jokes like once we were joking about what would our names would sound in different dialect. They joked each & everyone's name there but expect mine. Recently, I've been cancelling quite some hangouts because I felt that instead of just roaming & overspending, taking rest & money saving was important. They didn't forced me to tag them along but when it comes to other people's of my circle unless they're sick they'll urge them to join.
My bf & his friend used to be a part of our circle but there was issue regarding hangout plannings, informings, leaving out etc. We had a group chat with them & another one for only girls. Regarding plannings & informing, our hangout plans are really sudden & random & most of the time everyone wasn't present there, they would volunteer to call or inform others through call or text including me when I was absent but there is a thing that when I created a plan I involved & informed everyone but when someone else created they would not tell my bf & his friend about it & they wouldn't specifically mention if it's a girls plan or they are included too. I frequently had to ask should I call them or not & they said yes everytime but they would not specify before. When they both noticed this pattern they were hurt thinking they were never part of the planning & they were included indirectly never directly & eventually stopped having contact with the circle & my circle isn't even concerned that why they are not talking or having any type of communication with us but they still consider them as a part of our circle. My bfs friend is an introvert & wouldn't talk much with anyone but he tried to open up but this shit happened & he distanced himself again. They think that he's showing us attitude but they aren't trying to find the reason why he's behaving like this.
Recently my bf had dengue fever & he had been absent in the class for 3-4 days. They asked why he wasn't attending the classes I said he was sick (it wasn't confirmed at that time that that was dengue fever) & after they didn't ask me how he is & when he informed that it was dengue fever I didn't feel the urge to tell that to anyone in my circle because I felt that was unnecessary & if I publicize that everyone will pour on his dms which will make him annoyed instead of feeling greatful that they're being careful because no one had asked him how's he been for some days & why he's not attending the classes. Yesterday one of my friend got to know about it through her bf & she was furious that why I didn't tell her & she got to know about it from someone else instead of me who is his gf. My opinion here is that dengue is a serious sickness ik but fortunately he was healthy & he was resting in his home & he wasn't hospitalized as it didn't appeared life threatening. He was able to communicate with everyone & he was online yet she relied on me about informing about it than asking about his health by herself as she consider him as her friend too. I would have definitely informed everyone if he was in a serious situation.
Is it only a communicational issue or there's something else which I'm not able to notice. I didn't tell this anyone because I thought they would misunderstand everything. (Our circle consists of five girls)”
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Someone answered with kindness...
They rnt nescessarily bad ig but ur getting ignored perhaps deliberately or unknowingly and
Like u weren't there they dint even notice that can hurt actually ... It may not be deliberate but u maybe arent the part of one more inner circle they might be having . And clearly instead of trying to understand they blamed the other boy for having attitude but what really happened was he was hurt right .. so they may just be toxic