“I think i'm in a phase of my life where i'm not able to understand what is happening to me anymore. I'm in 11th grade and for a few months, well ever since 11th grade started, i have been feeling very low internally. For some reason i have really bad anxiety, when it comes to school, every night before school i have a panic attack, there is no particular reason that i'm able to put my finger on, its just happening. This has never happened to me, this is the first time i am experiencing this. I just don't feel like going to school anymore, i get a headache every single time i come back home. I love my school a lot, i've been here since nursery, but something is changing in me, its not the same place anymore. I just feel like i'm stuck in this loop, its always home-school, school-home, i have no life outside of my school or home, ppl of my age go for sports and hobbies, they have friends to hang out with outside of school. And its not like i don't have friends or i don't have hobbies, i have some amazing friends, but i'm not able to feel complete with them, it always seems situational, its always based in school, our parents don't allow to go outside. Indian parents can be the worst sometimes, i'm feeling very lonely emotionally, i am surrounded by so many ppl, but i'm feeling stuck in a completely different world, i'm not feeling content in life. I don't even have a sibling, i'm an only child. Sometimes all i ask for is one friend who really sees me, i'm past that "being popular" phase, and now i all i crave for is one friend, whom i can call my own, who is not only confined b/w school walls. I think i personally know the answer to this, i always tell myself that its all about timing, even ik that there is so much more that i have to see in life, there are so many ppl yet to come in my life who will love me, i have so many dreams that i want to fullfill like being a pilot. But all of this feels sooo distant, like its completely out of touch with reality, bcoz i'm not able to see a life like that, i can only imagine it. Everyone will tell u about how it gets better, but no one prepares u for this in between phase of life, where u just wait and hope for things to be better. Also pls give some advise for the school part as well, i'm even thinking of switching to open school/NIOS bcoz whatever this anxiety is, its getting worse now, and i think the school is becoming toxic for me, day by day, but then this also brings me to that lonliness point. Already the only friendship that i have is inside school, and if i remove school, i remove the friends too, i also remove that experience that millions of indian students share, that feeling of being in a school with ur friends, making memories, the feelings, the ideas and omg the farewell, everyone brags about it, its giving me a sense of FOMO. Ik this is very long, i'm feeling sorry for the ppl who will potentially read all this lol, but thanks to whoever that is reading this”
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Someone answered with kindness...
I competely understand what ur saying . And it's good that ur keeping the big picture in mind too
That later it bcms good nd all . But nobody tells u abt the phase till then . It takes a lot out of you and there's nothing much about it that u can do but take the best out of the situation. So u need to make friends out of ur school too by means of any sport or any hobby anything . That's how u meet new ppl and maybe ul find someone whol choose u first . Despite having friends around u , you can feel completely lonely , I have been though that I still feel like it sometimes . But maybe later u won't feel lonely as u will meet ur people . So don't worry it does get better . It's Just matter of time
Till then do what u love make ur day filled with happiness through small moments
And changing school will probably give u more fomo so don't change ur school
And ur dream feels distant rn but it's very much achievable so keep dreaming and ul fs achieve it