“I need some genuine, unbiased advice about a complicated situation in my love life. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost eight years. We've grown together, shared so many memories, and he talks about marrying me someday. But over time, things have changed. I feel like the excitement, romance and emotional connection have faded. I often feel that I'm the one who initiates conversations, makes efforts and wants to spend time together. There have been certain experiences and disappointments in the past that have made me emotionally distant from him. I don't know whether I've stopped feeling the same way or whether I'm just emotionally exhausted from things that have happened between us.
Recently, another man, whom I'll call "him", came into my life through a mutual friend. We met in person, and he started expressing his feelings towards me. He knows I'm already in a relationship, but he still tells me that he likes me, loves me and is falling for me more every time he sees me. He says that being around me gives him peace and happiness, that he gets excited and his heart starts pounding when he thinks about me, and that he has so much more to tell me when we meet face-to-face. He even jokes about wanting to make my mother his mother-in-law! During his recent Diwali visit, he came to my house, spent time with me and my friend, appreciated my mother and my home, and later messaged me saying how good and peaceful he felt meeting me. He also remembers little things I say, like my joking request for chocolate, and recently asked for my exact location and phone number, which makes me think he might be planning a surprise delivery.
The thing is, his words and gestures make me incredibly happy. I smile at his messages, feel excited when he texts, and look forward to seeing him. I feel wanted, noticed and appreciated. Sometimes I feel that he is more emotionally expressive and seems more interested in me than my own boyfriend. And that's what makes everything even more confusing. On one side, I have a relationship of almost eight years, a shared history and a possible future together. On the other side, there's him, who makes me feel butterflies and gives me an excitement that I haven't experienced in a long time. I also feel guilty because I know I'm in a committed relationship, yet I enjoy the attention and have started developing feelings or at least some kind of attachment towards him.
I genuinely don't know what to do. Am I falling for him, or am I getting attached to the way he makes me feel? Have my feelings for my boyfriend faded, or am I just craving the affection and effort that I feel are missing? Am I holding on to my current relationship because of love, or simply because of the eight years we've invested in it? I don't want to throw away a long relationship for temporary excitement, but I also don't want to force myself to stay somewhere I'm no longer emotionally happy. How should I handle both situations without hurting people or misleading anyone? Should I take a step back from him and evaluate my existing relationship, or should I accept that my feelings have changed? Please give me a brutally honest perspective, not just comforting words. I really want to understand what I should do.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
I will be brutally honest with you your bf thinks you are his so thats why he is not putting that kuch efforts he may be in the phase of figuring out his life but whatever I will just say one thing don't cheat on that guy just don't it will ruin his life as someone who had been in the same situation I will tell you this if you want the new guy just tell your bf you are done and you don't want him any more tell him that and all and tell him there is a new guy you like and after that hope good for whatever happens