I need an outside perspective on something that's been bothering me.

My boyfriend is part of his college's fashion society, and they had a modelling event. For almost a month, he was busy with rehearsals, preparations and spending time with people from the society. Before that, there was also a family wedding. During this period, I felt extremely neglected and emotionally disconnected from him. I felt like I was no longer a part of his life, especially because he wasn't really sharing much about the people he was spending so much time with.

I understand he was going through a difficult phase too. He had recently shifted from a joint family to living with his mummy, papa and bhaiya, and was missing his extended family and struggling with the adjustment.

However, when the event ended, I expected things to go back to normal. Instead, I saw his stories showing him being very close with different girls, attending parties and socialising, while I had been struggling to get his time and attention. He also attended an after-party and another house party despite knowing how much I wanted to spend time with him. Later, he explained that he was prioritising himself. Eventually, he went back to being loving and attentive, but I never completely got over that month.

Now, recently, I saw a video of him in a market where he and another guy were physically holding/supporting a girl while walking, apparently for fun or behind-the-scenes footage. It made me uncomfortable.

From the beginning, I've communicated that I'm okay with professional closeness but not unnecessary personal or physical closeness with other girls. We have mutual boundaries that we both expect each other to respect.

I'm not questioning his loyalty. My issue is consideration, emotional availability and boundaries. I feel like the recent incident has reopened feelings from that month.

Am I being unreasonable? Is my discomfort justified, or am I expecting too much from a relationship?

Question

I need an outside perspective on something that's been bothering me.

My boyfriend is part of his college's fashion society, and they had a modelling event. For almost a month, he was busy with rehearsals, preparations and spending time with people from the society. Before that, there was also a family wedding. During this period, I felt extremely neglected and emotionally disconnected from him. I felt like I was no longer a part of his life, especially because he wasn't really sharing much about the people he was spending so much time with.

I understand he was going through a difficult phase too. He had recently shifted from a joint family to living with his mummy, papa and bhaiya, and was missing his extended family and struggling with the adjustment.

However, when the event ended, I expected things to go back to normal. Instead, I saw his stories showing him being very close with different girls, attending parties and socialising, while I had been struggling to get his time and attention. He also attended an after-party and another house party despite knowing how much I wanted to spend time with him. Later, he explained that he was prioritising himself. Eventually, he went back to being loving and attentive, but I never completely got over that month.

Now, recently, I saw a video of him in a market where he and another guy were physically holding/supporting a girl while walking, apparently for fun or behind-the-scenes footage. It made me uncomfortable.

From the beginning, I've communicated that I'm okay with professional closeness but not unnecessary personal or physical closeness with other girls. We have mutual boundaries that we both expect each other to respect.

I'm not questioning his loyalty. My issue is consideration, emotional availability and boundaries. I feel like the recent incident has reopened feelings from that month.

Am I being unreasonable? Is my discomfort justified, or am I expecting too much from a relationship?

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Communicate your boundaries and your needs. If he says sorry acknowledge your feelings  he is good for you. If he goes you are being dramatic and all LEAVE ASAP.
This relationship might not be good for you if u keep letting things go and u will build so much resentment inside of you and it will only hurt you in the long run.