I met ayan today and I genuinely now hate that guy but if it leads to a positive effect in my life, thank you ayan. I feel so jealous bro he owns an iPhone, bullet, has renovated his home, not from ancestral wealth but his own fucking earnings. He fucking escaped the matrix yrr. He didn't do college and he directly took his hobbies seriously like video editing and earned from there and itna ki he bought a phone and stuff and he collected money pehle now he's prepping for cuet and now he's working on his next big project of opening a restaurant of his own. Like wtf bro😭😭😭😭😭 I would cry stop pleaseee. And today i met him after years and he was like what's up kya chal rha hai? I said I'm in college manit bhopal. And that's all he looks at me up and down ig and he goes like badhiya, then I asked tu kya kr rha hai and he goes like kuch nhi bhai mai kuch nhi krta and such a private pretty lil liar sashi had just congratulated him for his fucking new bike man.😭😭 Then sashi told me that he looks down on me and he just thinks that in the past I've tried to outsmart anyone in the room and he just wants to see me fail and loose in life I guess or atleast he wants to show him my place 🙂 and he really thinks he has succeeded in doing so and I'm so mad that he has been holding grudes against me because I didn't until today now I feel like I hate this guy and i also have some grudes to hold because any matured version of me rn is saying me to just show him what he can do I can do better and I'm just distracted rn from my goals and I'm not a failure I'm gonna prove this bitch wrong. Ayan is guy from coaching back then he is sashi cousin brother* i dont really need an advice here but i just feel like i needed to let somebody out there know this feeling and want to feel supported and i want to fill myself with guilt that in all these years he has achieved a lot and ive not so im gonna work really smart and hard from now on and stop being such a procratinator all the time. wish me luck and fill me in with some toxic motivation pls let me be in my delusions.

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