“I met a girl 2 months ago online, initially i had no intention but as we started talking(she initiated) , we started to build a chemistry. Initially she love bombed, texted, messaged me a lot and initially she had told me that she doesn't want a relation as she isn't over her ex but her behaviour was way opposite to her words. She told me to keep the phone on whole night and it has been continued till date. However during starting of October she started becoming very distant and i was hurt by that and i asked her , first we had a fight over when i asked why is she acting like this . The very next day i tried to talk to her again and told her how hurt i was due to all this and she took this upon herself and started blaming me that i already told you that i don't want a relationship but you still continued. To this i replied that I know u don't want but your actions made me believe that maybe u are ready and maybe we are in a relationship. Then she said that maybe she will start acting distant now and not talk to me, i told her that its your choice that if you want to talk to me or not, and everytime she would again reach out to me first and start lovebombing again and again. We had about 4 major fights in october and everytime the conclusion came out that she isn't over her ex, she has feelings and everytime i told her that if you wanna stop talking we can stop , and she would reach out everytime. At this point i am also anxiously attached to her . And then few days back we again had this same fight and then said that she is breaking up with me and said that whatever we did , it was actually a relationship only so we are breaking up and at night she called me again saying that we will do this gradually so it doesn' t hurt you. Now before this fight, she was all against her ex, that how he hurt her , how he was controlling and she herself said that she feels a lot free around me. But after this fight, she has been saying that her ex wasn't controlling and accusing me indirectly of controlling , and recently got hold of her ex's id and asked her today if any of her family members follow him, she said no, but actually her younger brother does follow him and her younger brother's account is managed by her only. I asked her about her ex's Id today, first she lied that he isn't on instagram and then lied then none of its family members follow when infact her younger brother does follow, whose account is with her only. Then she shifted to saying that why are you asking for his id, will you text him to stay away or what, and said that if you do text him, he will basically kidnap and stuff , and then after this she said that she was just joking. Now I really don't understand what to do”
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Someone answered with kindness...
Bro don't walk, run for your life . It's as clear as day that she's simply using you to feel better like a rebound, smth she can keep coming back to cause she knows you'll let her , you've shown her you'll melt everytime she comes to you and if she still follows him or keeps track of him , lets be honest she is infact not over him and you dont wannna be with someone who won't be able to let go of their previous partner . My advice would be to talk a day off , mute her on everything and think clearly about what you want , not how she feels, not what sh's doing , think about what you feel, would you be okay with this behaviour from her ending , where do you want you and her to lead long-term and would you be okay being with someone like her , think it all out , write things you want to ask her , things you want to write for yourself , and then when you're done thinking it over , when you have what you want to ask her, call her and be as straight-forward as you can and tell her everything , ask her questions ,m tell her what this is and be strict about it either being all or nothing at all , no contacts and no nothing , give her an ultimatum and let her choose and make sure till she doesnt have a clear answer that no matter what she does you don't reach back out to her. It's tough but it is the right thing for you else you'll slowly lose your peace and sanity